Anyway, panel! Tyra wears a bright purple blouse, just like she shall when she's an old woman. She gets right to it, because she has no patience for fools. There are prizes, there are judges. CLAY TO THE MOTHERFUCKING AIKEN is the guest judge! I totally forgot about him in the fifteen minutes between now and his earlier appearance! Wouldn't it be amazing if he and Miss J. vogued to the death? Or if Miss J.'s expanding tie was actually a venus flytrap-type mechanism that ingested any other queen within a 20-foot radius? Tyra introduces Clay by saying that his first album was the highest selling solo artist release in ten years. That's...awfully specific. And probably not true of the past ten years, but whatever.
Celia is up first for evaluation. She has a fabulous ensemble on, as always. We see her best take, which is really good despite a weird puff of hair that's out of place. She looks like a cockatiel, but delivers the lines like a pro. Paulina tells her that she has a natural talent, and mentions to Tyra that Celia had a natural comedic ability at this week's challenge. Clay appreciates how good Celia is at creating a character. Tyra tells Celia to remember the client. In this case, the client is known for youth and brightness. And unfortunately for Celia, she looks like everyone else's crazy aunt and/or Maude. Teyona is next, and her face looks almost exactly like those comedy/drama masks. It's creepy and horrible and why won't her eyes open all the way? Teyona's inability to smile is going to become a problem, I think. Nigel agrees with me that Teyona squints a lot, and adds that there's a big difference between being photogenic and telegenic. Yeah, there's no way she can win. Can you imagine Cycle 13's "My Life As a Cover Girl...OF YOUR NIGHTMARES" spots?
Allison is up next. Miss J. calls her to task for wearing the same ensemble to two separate panels. It's a cute dress, but very distinctive and so recognizable. Tyra tells her that if she has jeans and a t-shirt on every week that's okay, because it's "General Clothes." Along with "Corporal Comfy Shoes" he leads the Casual Closet Army. However, when you make a duplicate fashion statement it's like groundhog's day. And nobody's ever mistaken Punxsutawney Phil for a fashion icon. Miss J. wants Teyona and Allison to change clothes, and so Tyra instructs them to do so while the judges deliberate. Finally, it's time for Allison's commercial. You know, it kind of sucks, even if Allison does look like an adorable moppet. Tyra says that she feels like it was punishment, and the other judges all give a big ominous, "Ooooooh!" Clay acknowledges that this was the loudest Allison has spoken since he met her, and gives her props for improvement. Tyra thought that Allison was going to look morbid, but she actually looked sweet and happy like a Cover Girl. If only she hadn't spoken. Nigel repeats his criticism of the previous judging, which is that he's seen the same pose from her week after week. But... she wasn't posing this week. And Tyra just said she looked sweet and happy. Nigel is becoming the Randy Jackson of this panel.