America's Next Top Model

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Easy, McKeyzy, Beautiful

Finally there's McKey. I think her best commercial take is a little stiff, but Tyra exclaims, "Look at you, Miss Lady!" She says that McKey was much better in this commercial than in the one with the teleprompter, and actually showed some personality. Addy says that McKey went a little too fast, but she looked great and he believed in her. Her photo is pretty great. She has a closed-lip smile, which becomes the bane of Analeigh's existence. Paulina says it's a great example of how you don't have to show teeth to look happy, shiny, and accessible. Nigel thinks it's the first shot where any of the girls looks like a model. Addy likes that she looks a little naughty. Tyra says that McKey is naughty-sweet in this photo, but sometimes she looks naughty-crazy. She needs to watch her eyes, and her use of chain mail.

The judges deliberate. Samantha has a great personality and a great smile, and photographs beautifully, according to Paulina, and she's curious to see how Sam will do when she walks. Nigel points out that they keep saying that Sam is a great commercial model, however from her Cover Girl photo it appears that she's in fact NOT a great commercial model. I think she'd maybe be good for the Sears catalogue, or something involving auto parts. Tyra says that Sam looks like a catalogue model, but is in fact more of an edgy, fashion, editorial girl. Paulina thinks that Analeigh is a lovely girl with lovely legs that can bend and stretch into all sorts of lovely positions. But does she have the face, Paulina asks? In case you were wondering, this is not a rhetorical question and Paulina answers herself with a curt, "No." Miss J. says that Paulina might be right about Analeigh not having the face, but she does have the walk. Nigel, however, thinks that Analeigh does have the face and can model, but her poor performance in the Cover Girl commercial took the wind out of her Dutch weed-boat sails. McKey's photo is great, her commercial performance was good, and throughout the whole competition she has shown that she can listen. The one thing that scares Tyra about McKey is the possibility of her walking on a runway. Paulina agrees that McKey does have the Lurch thing going on, which prompts Miss J. to bust into a, "You raaaaang?" And with that, the judges have reached a decision.

The girls return, and Tyra looks like she's about to beam everyone back to the home planet. Seriously, what is she wearing? Analeigh looks super sad, Sam looks tense, and McKey looks entirely clueless. And we all know that cluelessness makes for good models. This is why McKey is called first. She seems mildly excited and/or majorly medicated. This leaves Analeigh and Sam in the bottom two. A lot of the judges, including Tyra, think that Analeigh has some of the strongest poses, but her weakness is her soft, sweet, cookie-dough like commercial face. Cookie dough and fashion don't mix, as any skinny bitch will tell you. The judges think it's a shame, because her body is so fantastic. Yeah, Analeigh should maybe put a bag over her head and then try signing with an agency. And then there's Samantha. She looks very commercial when she stands in front of the judges. Then they saw her picture this week, which is very confusing. If she looks commercial in front of them, she should be able to sell commercial in a cosmetics ad. That makes the judges doubt her, because clearly they have NO IDEA who she is. Truly, it is a mystery for the ages. But in the end, Samantha gets to stay. I have to say I was pretty surprised about that. I thought Analeigh might take it all despite her squishy nose. Tyra tells Sam that she has to master how she looks in person to book go-sees, and master her smile, to make money.

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America's Next Top Model

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