America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B+ | 1426 USERS: B-
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The Year of the Bloody Eyeball

When we return, the runway show begins! Nicole says that Tyra believes in them, and she doesn't want to let Tyra or herself down. Teyona starts off the show, and is happy just to finally get some work. There is apparently an "elements" theme, as everything is red and we see a caption that says, "element: fire." As I say every season: it's no "Ghost Brides." Nicole is the first of our finalists to hit the runway, and steals the signature walk of Quasimodo. The whole thing is a little burly, but it kind of works for her. Nicole tells us that it's crazy for her to be so relaxed at this moment -- it shows how far she's come since she had crazy stage fright before entering the competition. Laura is next to take a pass in a short, shiny dress. Tyra notes that she looks good. Laura isn't sure if the audience can see it, but she's shaking from her head to her heels. Her walk is okay, if lacking a bit of oomph.

Nicole makes it backstage, and Jay totally fake yells that they'll cut her out of the dress if they have to. Things get crazier behind the scenes, and Laura tells us that people are ripping off clothes and glitter is flying everywhere. She actually likes the chaos and feeds off of it, so can't wait to hit the runway again. The second pass is "element: wind," and the girls have to wear giant sheer wraps over their faces and walk into the best offerings of a wind machine. Nicole has a bit of a hard time getting her wrap off at the end of the runway, and tells us that the wind was no joke. Laura does a fine job managing the wrap, which she says is like a quilt over her head. She takes it off very smoothly at the end of the runway and gives her best Rachel Hunter look.

And then it's time for "element: water." The girls are all wearing swimsuits covered with sheer wraps. Jay tells the two finalists and the four bootees that he wants them all to pose together in the rain at the end of it all. The swimsuits and sheer wraps are not Julia Clancey designs, so it's okay to get them wet. They actually look super cheap. Nicole has gotten progressively less hunchbacked and does a pretty good job on her third pass. Laura looks like she's not quite used to walking in heels for some reason, but overall it's also good. The final six pose at the end of the show in a big, wet, slithering mass of estrogen. Julia Clancey heads out on the wet runway and wonders how she got herself into this mess.

America's Next Top Model

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