America's Next Top Model

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My Heart Belongs to Fatty

As Anya prepares some food, Whitney cracks that she's never met a potato she didn't like. Apparently she has never been introduced to Mrs. Potato Head, who is a total skank, with her bright red lipstick and Sophia Petrillo purse. Mrs. Potato Head will cut you with a vegetable peeler if you try to get too close to her man. Whitney remarks that it's amazing that she and Anya are friends, and tells Anya that she likes her more than anyone else. And I mean, did Anya even have any competition? Whitney is really hoping that she and Anya are the final two.

The girls receive Tyra Lisa Mail: "Here are your lines. You've got some extra time. So don't make me put you on blast! Love, Tyra." There is an accompanying envelope marked, "Your Lines." If this were an envelope from Miss Janice Dickinson, I think we all know exactly what kind of lines would be inside. Since it's from Tyra, I think we can safely assume it's a script for a Cover Girl commercial. Anya reminds us how horrible she was in her Italian Cover Girl commercial, and says that she has to work on her speech and presenting herself properly. Oh, just go back to the forest from whence you came and live happily with your adoptive family of creatures! But Anya insists on trying her hardest and doing her best. Jerk. Whitney points out that the lines are in English, and everyone seems much relieved.

The girls travel to the Colosseum, where they meet up with Jan Manuel and Cover Girl's own Brent Poer, looking like sort of a bright red version of Pee Wee Herman. The word of the day is: LashBlast! The girls will film a commercial and also shoot a print ad that will run nationally and be on a Wal-Mart display. Who better to gaze upon than the

Top Model

winner when you're stocking up on Diet Dr. Thunder? And then Brent announces an additional surprise: the winner will have a billboard in Times Square! You know word got around that Whitney was going to win, and so production had to scramble to find a space that was big enough to fit her. And then Jay introduces Cycle 9 winner Saleisha to meet with the girls. He asks her what it was like for her at this same point in her season. She says she was so nervous and so excited. Fatima is happy to have Saleisha there, as she's someone to look up to. Poor Fatima really has a dearth of role models, doesn't she?

The girls get their hair and makeup done and practice their lines. Saleisha demonstrates to Fatima how to fake-apply mascara. Jay walks over to check on Anya, and notes that she's all teary-eyed. It's true! Anya tells him that she's overwhelmed now that they're down to the final three. Poor thing. Jay tells her that she knows her lines, and they are in English, and that she doesn't need to go out there and try to "be a Cover Girl." She's got the look already. Meanwhile, Whitney is telling Saleisha all about how she's the first plus-sized model to make it this far. Saleisha congratulates her, but her attention is quickly diverted by Anya, who is full-on crying now. Unfortunately for Anya, she kind of looks like an albino lab rat. It's a good thing she's managed to stay dry-eyed up until this point. Saleisha and Whitney rush over to comfort her. Whitney interviews that Anya is never weak, and it was really strange to see her cry. Anya shares with them that she doesn't want to fail after coming this far. She interviews, "I just pray that I make it to the final two. There is things that I do need to work on. But modeling is my passion and I desire it, and I'm going to fight for my dream." I wish Anya's dream was to re-take fifth grade English, but what can you do? With that, we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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