Fatima is up next. She stumbles a couple times during her best take, which goes like this: "Arrivederci, bland boring lashes! We're off for a lash blast. The power to blast those lashes? It's Cover Girl's biggest, boldest brush for your biggest, boldest lashes. So shy and retiring, just say ciao!" What does that even mean? It's such a peculiar use of the English language that I'm tempted to think Anya wrote it. Nigel thinks that the commercial would be great if it were a toothpaste ad. Miss J. says that Fatima was gorgeous, he just wishes her line delivery was as good as her appearance. Paulina suggests that she think about what she's saying, rather than just robotically repeating the lines. Nigel thinks that Fatima's still photo is stunning. Paulina, however, says that the eyes are a big high for her taste. It's a little like Fatima has sighted God and is happy to see him. Tyra then gets the opportunity to do her very favorite thing, give a lesson about eyes! Fatima has smallish eyes, so has to learn how to smile with her eyes while keeping them open. Somewhat magically, the trick to doing this is to squint. You make your eyes look larger...by making them smaller! It's the type of trick a layperson like me just can't quite understand.
Finally, there's Anya. She has lots of pauses between her lines, but what she lacks in grace she makes up for in enthusiasm. After her best take, Tyra says that she would say that's the biggest trainwreck in the world, but when she dissects it, it was the best commercial. Miss J. says something unintelligible and weird -- surprise, surprise -- and Tyra just rolls over him to tell Anya that she was authentic in the commercial. Paulina agrees. She thinks Anya has moments where it's convincing and honest. Altogether, it was a total wreck, but in little installments, it was totally enjoyable. Nigel adds that Anya is naturally charming. Tyra thinks that her, "Easy, breezy," bit was especially good. The judges then look at her photo. It gets a lukewarm reception. Miss J. tells Anya that she takes great pictures, but sometimes there's no personality or character there. Paulina takes things a step further and tells Anya in no uncertain terms that she looks stupid in her photo. "In her photo." Tyra disagrees, however. She thinks the picture is lovely and stunning and commercial with edge. She's looking into the heavens way too high, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's dumb -- just devout.
And then, the dramatic music begins. After the panel deliberates, the girls will learn which two of them will be walking in one of the most extravagant fashion shows America's Next Top Model has ever had. The two finalists will be wearing the designs of -- wait for it -- Versace. And the clothing that they'll wear has been handpicked by The Donatella herself! Aw, man, I wish that gnarled tranny had come on the show and thrown down with Tyra in all of her glorious fierceness. But all we can hope is that her presence will infuse the proceedings. With that, we head to commercials.