America's Next Top Model

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My Heart Belongs to Fatty

And ahh...it's Saleisha's last My Life as a Cover Girl! Don't let the door hit you in the ass when you leave the Cover Girl factory!

When we return, the judges deliberate. Nigel doesn't think Anya's photograph is one of her strongest, and wonders if the competition has started getting to her. Tyra questions Paulina's statement that Anya looked dumb. Paulina explains that Anya looks like she's thinking about fields and pastures. She can do better, and should be thinking about something else. Tyra says that when she modeled, she wasn't thinking about a damn thing. I liked Tyra better when she didn't think about things, actually. Fatima wants the competition so much, says Nigel, that it's taking control of her. Paulina says that as a print model you have to be gorgeous, and Fatima is a wonderful print model. Nigel thinks that Fatima lacks confidence, and this manifests itself in her being kind of a jerk. Tyra loves that Fatima has struggled and gone through horrible things that a lot of people in America can't even fathom, and yet she stands before the panel with pride and doesn't play the victim card, no matter how much the show initially kind of wanted her to.

And then there's Whitney. Paulina thinks that her beauty is a fa├žade. Nigel compares this to an alter ego. Paulina continues that the Cover Girl photo was her first -- and very timely -- flash of brilliance. Really? Why do I think it's not that good? Miss J. points out that Whitney is plus-sized, and has probably really been beaten down in her life. Tyra quite correctly replies that Whitney is not big in real-life terms. Yes, she's big for modeling, but walking down the street she's just a hot chick. Paulina still thinks that Whitney has an armor, and it's not a beautiful armor. Armor is Tyra's second favorite subject, after eyes, and she says that whenever people have armor they're always hiding something underneath. Maybe Whitney is hiding...a skinny girl? The judges have reached their decision.

The girls return to learn their fates. Tyra notes that in addition to the Versace show, the final two will have their photographs taken by Nigel for the Seventeen cover. The winner will, of course, be on the cover, while the loser's film will be used to stoke the fire that manually warms the cockles of Tyra's crusty old heart. Speaking of Tyra, the first name she's going to call is Anya. Aw, go Anya. I know I make fun, but I really think she's kind of delightful. This leaves Fatima and Whitney in the final two. Whitney takes beautiful photos and is a beautiful girl, but the judges think there's something up with her. Even the judges can smell a fix! And then there's Fatima. Her face is absolutely stunning, but modeling is about more than being beautiful -- it's about listening to a photographer or director's vision and delivering that message. Both girls are crying, and Whitney's nostrils flare as she breathes heavily. But she needn't be nervous, because she gets a photo. Tyra tells Whitney that there's someone inside of her who's probably not as pretty as Whitney is on the outside. But the real Whitney is coming out. And the judges think she has potential, especially if she keeps pounding the Slim Jims. Mmm, mechanically separated meat.

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America's Next Top Model

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