America's Next Top Model
Barney Cheng

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Smooth as Silkworms

Laura is next, and of course she just loves bugs. She used to have giant centipedes and tarantulas as pets. What sort of cause/effect relationship do you think the alcoholic parents played in that? Laura loves putting Edwin on her face, and eventually he tries to commit hari-kari, but she catches him. Jay asks Laura what makes her powerful, and of course she says, "Really good sex." Jay tells her to go for her best orgasm, and she does. I think at this point Edwin is probably feeling a little violated. Let me quote Alisha: "Laura...she's too sexual. A fucking silkworm is sexual to this girl. A fucking SILK. WORM." But silkworm sex is apparently a big inspiration to Laura, and Jay calls her shoot genius.

Eboni is next in a baby pink gown, and has a great desire to redeem herself from last week. I think the fact that Jay tells her she looks like she has an old grandma booty does not bode well for redemption. He says that her shoot was middle of the road, and that she might have been giving emotion, but it was a bit difficult to say what precisely that emotion was. Sophie is up next, and tells us that a silkworm is like a posh gross bug. Jay loves what she's doing, and it doesn't take long for her to get her shot. Laura tells us that Sophie is awesome and also her biggest competition, thus cementing their membership in the Laura-Sophie Mutual Admiration Society.

Catherine is up next, and fears that she looks like a witch in her black wig. The stylists assure her that she does not, but...she kind of does a little. Just a little! Catherine is trying to invoke sad thoughts, and Jay tells her to put herself in a real situation that would rip her heart out. To Catherine, this is death, and she winds up crying on set. Jay tells her not to pose, but to look directly into the camera. Alisha thinks that Catherine is breaking down, which isn't precisely true. Either way, though, she doesn't do such a great job on the shoot. The emotion is there, but her poses are wooden. Alisha is next in chartreuse, and Jay instructs her to give more raw emotion. She feels like she's in the zone, but Jay thinks it's too posey. Edwin tries to whisper sad (but not death-sad) thoughts to Alisha, to no avail. Jay tells us that he'd like to have the opportunity to work with Alisha again, but he isn't sure after her performance in this shoot that he's going to get that opportunity. Edwin weeps, because Alisha is his favorite too.

The ladies head home to find Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is getting the boot! Catherine is concerned, but says that at least she was able to show emotion in her photographs. She's not ready to go home. Eboni tells some of the other girls that Tyra picked her for a reason, and she knows she's a good model, but Laura does not concur. She thinks that Eboni is a baby, and not right for this competition. Alisha taps her weave and says that she's not weak, and shouldn't be sitting there questioning herself. She was tested in this shoot and tried her best, and is not into getting put down. As she confessionalizes that maybe she should just give up and go home, we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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