Gabrielle says, "You can shave it, you can dye it. Make me look like Dennis Rodman. I made it this far, I can't complain about anything." That's the attitude, for real. I think Gabrielle has some staying power. Tyra, from the "Top Model offices," tells us that each season she lines up photos of the girls and decides the precise ways in which she'll torture them. And now she's ready to share that with us. Ren is up first. She says that she's different from the other girls, because it's been seven years since anyone has cut her hair other than herself. We noticed. It's also been seven years since anyone's washed her hair, I think. Just stick her in a bucket of Lysol and see what happens. Tyra wants an edgy, fringed kind of cool thing for Ren, and so she gets it. I think that's Sally Hershberger's signature haircut. Jay likes the hair... on her head. But there's another issue -- Ren's armpit hair. Ren interviews that she doesn't shave her armpits because of "health and women's rights." Hipsters of the world, rejoice: yours is as dumb as the rest of them. Alexandra wonders what the "downstairs" is going to look like. Meatloaf. According to Alexandra, Ren is edgy, tattooed, and earthy. She doesn't come off as a model, and Alexandra thinks that will hold her back. After the first ANTM armpit makeover in history, Ren has her photo taken. She says she's all about changing her look and any style is cool with her. But the real question is whether Stimpy will like it.
Tyra wants to make Gabrielle more angelic and very blonde, to look like a wood nymph. Or Venus Xtravaganza. Femme realness, personified. Gabrielle feels amazing and edgier. Then there's Krista, who has razor-sharp cheekbones. Tyra wants to slick her hair back into a removable ponytail. Krista gives a little of the stinkeye, then tells Mr. Jay that this style is something that she does when she doesn't feel like doing her hair. She HATES it. Repeat: she HATES it. But she doesn't want that to affect her in the competition, so she stifles. Well played. Alexandra has a fiercely real body, and is getting fiercely real hair to go with it. Soft highlights are real, apparently. Alexandra feels more refined and sophisticated. Oh, and there's sorority Simone. Tyra shaves the sides of her head and gives her kind of a flat Mohawk-ish thing on top. Simone takes it surprisingly well, saying that her old look was safe and boring, but now she can be more adventurous and edgy. From one angle the hair looks kind of great, and from another it's a disaster. Either way, it's going to be a bitch to grow out.