Alasia enters the room next, and Ms. J. is wearing her wig and patting down his face Whitney-style. Alasia is quite mystifyingly dressed in full-on rock n' roll biker gear. She has rivets and chains on her pants, and an oversized leather vest. And glasses. And handcuff earrings! I'm completely mystified. Tyra asks if Alasia is the church girl or the biker chick, and Alasia says she's a little bit of both. She tells us, "I'm not gonna say I grew up in the hood, but I grew up in the hood." Uhhhh. I think her strategy is just to throw us off our game. It's working. Alasia used to be bad, and be a rebel, and be with boys all the time. But then she found Christ. And a dildo. And she got saved. Alasia has been crucified through Christ and no longer lives -- Christ lives in her. She helpfully tells us that that's Galatians 20... something. I mean, where does Tyra find them? It's the particular genius of this show. Alasia, who has extremely lovely and buttery skin, didn't tell her teachers that she was doing this -- she simply said she was leaving for "family matters." But she got her makeup work. I have a feeling that Alasia is going to be a true delight this season.
We cut to the girls hanging out in a holding room, and Krista helpfully points out that Alasia is a lunatic of no consequence. For her part, Alasia is not impressed with or scared of Krista. She says that sometimes guilty people will point a finger at you, but you've got three fingers pointing... yes, three fingers pointing back at you. She does a quick count to affirm this and, to her credit, isn't including the thumb. Alasia is ready to work Krista's skinny behind, and prepared to get real ugly with her. It's like a message of hope for the season! Commercials.
Krista, 24 from Pine Bluff, Arkansas, is next to go before the panel. She's wearing a silver metallic dress that matches the curtains of the room. Krista tells us that she's wanted to be a contestant ever since the show started, and is hungry. I mean, literally, because her shoulder blades could slice you halfway to next Tuesday. Krista notes that she's 24, and in the modeling industry they stop you somewhere around 25. What I think she probably means is that 25 is the cut-off to be on this particular show. She's like Methuselah in modeling years. In any case, Krista feels like this is her last chance. Which is a good thing, because then she'll finally be able to hold down a job and move on with her life. Tyra asks Krista if she'd ever date outside of her race. Krista stammers that she doesn't want to date white guys because it makes her scared to see a pink penis. She goes on to say that it looks like raw meat. Both of the Jays are like, "Girl, that's not what it looks like." Krista then goes on to underscore her point by making hand motions that go with preparing a meatloaf. If you are now thinking about a big pink penisloaf, you're not alone. Krista tells us that looking good is everything to her, and that she's in heels 24-7. She has no tennis shoes and asks, "Who owns tennis shoes?" Everybody. Look into it.