America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: A- | 1 USERS: A+
Sexy Blanket

The remaining twenty girls have one last chance to prove that they have what it takes to become America's Next Top Model. They're going to do a shoot called "What supermodel are you?" They'll have five minutes to get dressed, then do a little magic at the hair and makeup station. When they're done they'll do a small photo shoot, and Jay wants to be able to tell which supermodel each girl is representing. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Dumber than MyFierce. Dumber than smizing, even. Hallie is up first and is being Vlada Roslyakova. Oh yeah, dead ringer. WTF? Stand there dead-eyed and call yourself Linda Evangelista. Who the fuck can tell? Angelea is next and is Agyness Deyn. According to Mr. Jay, she embodies Agyness's rough and tumble attitude. Poor Tatianna says that she's Megan Fox. Megan Fox is not a model, FYI. Miss Ga-vinch-ee herself is super judgmental about Tatianna's lapse in knowledge. Alasia is Naomi Campbell, and acknowledges that she has no idea what she's doing or what Naomi Campbell would do. She also knows nothing about anything. Isn't the obvious choice here to be Tyra Banks and say you're smizing? Alexandra is Cindy Crawford, and has drawn a Saturn-sized mole on her face. It's too bad, because her posing is good. Gabrielle is Freja Beha Erichsen. Like you care. But she's really impressed with herself. Krista is Giselle, Naduah is Kate Moss, and Raina is Adriana Lima, and then we are blessedly over with this exercise in stupidity.

With their "profiles" "complete," the girls chill as Tyra and the Jays make their final cut. Tyra says that there are 14 slots in the MyFierce network. Alasia's profile pic looks like a weak senior photo in school, and her crazy energy doesn't translate into her modeling. Ms. J. speculates that it went with the wig. Alexandra is a tool and painted a tumor-size mole on her face. Mr. Jay loves the planes of Angelea's face, but she registers too hard. Ms. J. says that she'll always have a stank attitude that she can't help. Anslee looks like she's smelling some stinky in her profile pic. But when she does nothing she looks beautiful. Brenda has a great body, but looks kind of '80s. She's not modern, but maybe could be helped by severe hair. Gabrielle impressed Mr. Jay most, because she has the most working knowledge of obscure models. Ms. J. adds that her walk was very natural. Hallie is lacking freshness. Jeanna has a nice nose and balance to her face, and Mr. Jay thinks she was good. Jessica is very pageant, and Tyra's not sure if she's a model or just a pretty girl. Simone has great proportions, is tall, and is willing to take direction. But Ms. J. still doesn't see model. Krista has some personality to her walk, and is both pleasant and dynamic. Tyra loves Naduah's profile picture and her walk. She also gives a good Kate Moss vibe. Raina's profile picture isn't modelesque, but there's some photo potential. Also, she has a waist like the sides of a rectangle. Tatianna is beautiful, but she doesn't embrace modeling or believe in it as a business. However, Ms. J. says that there's something there. With that, the judges have reached a decision.

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America's Next Top Model




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