Then it's time for Ms. J.'s net-walking. He says he's going to screen the girls to see who has viruses and who doesn't. This isn't Rock of Love. I'm sure most of them are fine. Jeanna, 21, from Chicago is all about being a diva on the runway. Ms. J. mocks her walk but not her leopard-print jacket, which I see as a missed opportunity. Alexandra, 21, from Kerrville, Texas is plus-sized. She says she's been the captain of every single intramural team you can think of. And, I mean, let's just focus on the word "intramural" there. She did go to something called "state" in basketball, though. She describes herself as uber-competitive, and adds that no one else can touch her. Or would want to, maybe. Then there's Hallie, 21 from Memphis, who describes herself as a spoiled brat. It's always problematic when you choose to describe yourself as an asshole, I think. Hallie is here to win the competition, and could care less about the money. She should care about financing a hunt for the fountain of youth, because that bitch looks like she's 42. And not even a particularly young-looking 42. Gabrielle, 18 from St. Louis is biracial and says that one of her advantages is that she can pass as a variety of ethnicities. She's got some crazy big dyed-red hair and looks particularly malnourished.
The girls hang out in some sort of holding room, and discuss the fact that Angelea's back. Hallie notes that Angelea is the kind of girl that she'd probably avoid, given that she's likely to either kill you, make you cry, or steal your lunch money. I think that's probably an accurate assessment. Gabrielle, a long-time viewer of the show, points out that the mean girl never wins. Unless she's Eva. Or, more generally, undergoes a transformation at the hands of Typrah Winbanks. This reminds me that The Tyra Banks Show was cancelled, which makes me feel both relieved and nervous -- the first for obvious reasons, the second because it leaves Tyra with a lot of spare time, which might be dangerous. Ponder it as we head to commercials.
When we return, it's time for the panel interviews. Mr. Jay is gray from head to toe, but for his orange face. I will give him that it certainly does pop. Tyra is apparently big into wardrobe cutouts this season -- her earlier ensemble had cutouts right at the love handles (as if daring me to make a rib joke), and at panel she's wearing a white turtleneck with a giant eyeball-shaped cutout at the décolletage. I have to admit that she looks pretty fab, but I feel very uncomfortable with the subliminal message that her boobs are always watching me. Also, why not just wear a low scoop-neck? I never have understood turtlenecks that are either short sleeved or have some other form of ventilation.