America's Next Top Model

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Hair Apparent
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on America's Next Top Model: There was eavesdropping and trash talking and stankery galore. And yelling. Lots of yelling. A Cover Girl shoot on a New York subway was easy and breezy for Angelea and a few other girls, and a fresh-faced disaster for others. Brenda has sucked and whined all season, and the judges finally saw fit to get rid of her. Seven bitches remain!

The girls arrive home and see Angelea's best of week photo displayed. Angelea tells us that the judges killed two birds with one stone -- deemed her photo number one, and booted Brenda's Chucky-haired ass from the competition. Angelea confessionalizes that she's happy as hell that Brenda's gone, and could in fact jump for joy. She and Krista do a little dance, presumably in celebration. Even better than Brenda's elimination, says Angelea, is her own triumph. Having her name called first at panel is both fantasticals and better than sex, she tells us. "Come on, now. Who's competition?" Angelea asks. She then answers her own question by saying, "I am. And it ain't gonna stop." Let's hope not! I enjoy having her around way too much. Krista's happy for her friend, but also wonders what a bitch has to do to get the number one photo. Blow Tyra. I mean, obviously. Krista tells us that she's 24, so this competition is really her last chance to be a model. Or a "model," even. She will fight, scratch, kick, and beat down me and my mama to get a number one picture. I don't know, my mom is pretty tough. She'll passive-aggressively guilt you into defeat as easy as baking you a batch of chocolate cookies. And sometimes she'll do both of those things at once.

Alexandra, meanwhile, says that she doesn't even feel like she's in the same category as the others sometimes. Krista points out that she works and practices, but something still seems to be missing. Alexandra interviews that the competition is frustrating, and she doesn't understand how she hasn't won anything yet. It sucks to see others surpass you, particularly when you put your all into something. And particularly when slow-motion, sepia-toned footage of you being knocked off the runway by a giant, swinging pendulum will play at select moments all through the season. Raina, meanwhile, misses Brenda. The two of them apparently clicked and became good friends. This makes me question Raina's taste, actually. Raina says that Brenda must have been sad to go home, but also happy not to have people being mean to her all the time. In response to that, I vow to say a mean thing about Brenda in every recap for the rest of the season, even though she's not on the show anymore! If Jessica goes home, Raina tells us, she will be friendless.

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America's Next Top Model

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