America's Next Top Model
Cat Deeley

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Meanwhile, Candice, Seymone, Sophie and Ashley head to a casting call for a male model. Candace lines all the men up, directs them to smile, and then tells them to take off their shirts. Sophie and Ashley giggle in the back, and Sophie explains to us that Candace was so rude to the boys. As Sophie is a working model who goes to any number of castings, she knows how models should be treated in such a situation. Candace and Eboni text a photo of their final two to Azmarie and the others back at the warehouse, who weigh in with their final decision. Teamwork! Technology! Buy Virgin Mobile! Azmarie talks to Kelly about their theme, and she gives them grief having something to do with jewelry that they haven't seen. Kelly says that you can't buy luxury -- it's the smell or feel of something. But... don't you buy something that smells or feels really nice, with cash money? I don't know. Azmarie is really great at taking criticism, though, and even thanks Kelly for gracing her with her stank presence. Back at the house, the teams continue to meet. Alisha tells us that she thought Annaliese had leadership skills, but was emphatically wrong. As she remains concerned, we head to commercials.

When we return, it's the day of the shoot. Jay is there, to add a little orange pop to Kelly's black soul. The teams set up their props and get their hair and wardrobe in place. The male models show up, and Azmarie explains that each team has to use a male model at least twice. Azmarie very seriously reminds each of her teammates to use their Intoxibella powers. It's too bad her Intoxibella name wasn't Zit-Away, given the giant glob of crusted concealer on her face. However, her teammates seem to really respect her as a leader and take their marching orders well. Photographer Jerry Metellus shows up to explain that each team has two hours to get everything done. Cutrone gives makeup tips to the American team, which is rich.

The Americans are up first, and Candace kicks off the modeling. As Annaliese says, Candace has a brilliant face but it's exactly the same in every photo. Not Exotica at all, if you ask me. She refuses to stop sticking out her lips, too. Jay tells her that she looks miserable, and needs to bring the shot alive. Her effort to do this is particularly cadaverous. Candace is next, and lets her F.R.-ness hang out. Alisha tells us that these girls wouldn't know punk rock if it spit in their faces. She thinks they are confused. Kelly tells the Americans that she knows a lot about punk fashion, and that punk is just clean, cool rock n' roll. I thought you had to go slam dancing and dress like Minnie Pearl? Meanwhile, Cutrone would like Kyle to look less dead in her shoot. Jay suggests that she jump, and things get a lot better. Laura poses in her Zagalicious way, and Cutrone directs her to make it more fun. And if anyone knows about fun, it's Kelly Cutrone. With twenty minutes left, 30-Never Eboni gets on set and tries to pose as a sexy Gumby in a crown. With a mere eight minutes left, Azmarie finally shoots. She is Andro-Genia all over the place, and also looks FINE. Jay tells us that it was hip and current and awesome. With that, the Americans are finished.

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America's Next Top Model

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