It's the moment you've been waiting for: the Top Model charity flag football challenge! Awww yeah, bitches. The girls head to Long Beach where they meet apparently still living Brittny Gastineau and "fiercely real" model Julie Henderson, who tell them the rules of engagement. They break into two teams, and are joined by both the previously eliminated contestants and four NLF players who divide themselves up to make things fair. The Red Team includes Shannon, Kayla, Alexandria and Lisa, while the Blue Team includes Bre, Laura, Angelea, and Bianca. Angelea can barely concentrate, because the presence of testosterone has made her so randy. The winning team will get $5,000 to be split across the charities represented by the two NFL players who are with them. There's also a modeling element: when a flag is thrown and a girl's name is called, she'll have to strike a pose (with an NFL player) for a nearby photographer. The winner of the individual challenge will get some tacky Gastineau bling, along with a campaign on Tyra's "Type (WT)F" website. I know, people, I know.
The girls get VERY rough during the game, with Bianca blaming Lisa at least three times (once "just because"). Still, Lisa scores the first touchdown for the Red Team. Bre throws a touchdown pass for Blue, tying things up, and then with seconds left the Blue Team scores another touchdown and wins the game. Kayla wins the individual challenge and the title of Most Valuable Model, much to her delight. To our non-delight, we then see Kayla participate in an infomercial for Type(WT)F.com, also starring Andre Leon Talley, who you think would be above this shit. Maybe this is why he's not coming back next year?
For the week's photo shoot, the girls are going to have to display some bitchitude and aggression with each other, and with famous supermodel co-star Coco Rocha! It turns out that Coco also teaches posing classes, and she tells the girls to try mouthing vowels when they can't think of anything else to do. Shannon and Bianca are paired up first, and clearly have some Crying Christian beef to draw on. They're a little too timid at first, and their photographer tells them to scream. They do, and things seem to get better. And everyone is friendly in the end, hooray. Kayla and Allison are paired, much to Kayla's chagrin. They can't get in a rhythm, and look very amateur compared to Coco, though Kayla turns it out in the end. Angelea is paired with Laura, and winds up being intimidated and devoid of energy. She starts crying, and Jay gives her a little pep talk about self-worth. After that, she kills it. Alexandria and Bre are paired, and Bre is so intense that she even scares Coco. Lisa and Dominique are last, and Jay deems them the perfect trio. At panel, Dominique and Lisa get the most love of all, and Dominique is called first. Bre and Alexandria land in the bottom two, and the spirit-devoid Bre gets the axe. Aw, crap, there goes my top spot in the Top Model pool. And then Bre leaves before Tyra can even give her a talking to! Way to do it, lady.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We enter a little bit differently this week, with the girls hanging out backstage after panel. Angelea complains that none of the judges liked her photo, and then we are reminded that Saint LaToya showered the contestants with benevolence last week, and no one was sent home. LaToya told Angelea to try harder, and that's what she intends to do. She should really try harder with the concealer -- girl's skin is looking rough these days. Bianca, meanwhile, is still on a tear. She says that she wants to be in the competition, and deserves to be there, and thinks that she's a winner. You will not be surprised when I tell you that no one gives a shit, still. Lisa rolls her eyes, and then tells us that Bianca brought both the house drama and her insecurities to panel last week. We get a sepia-toned flashback of Bianca characterizing herself as a six-foot, 120-pound personality who is real competition to the other girls. Lisa, however, characterizes Bianca as a spoiled brat who complains and bitches if she doesn't get her way. To which I say, stop! You're both right!
Bianca reiterates that she's big competition, and Lisa tells her that she's delusional. Bear in mind that Lisa is the one whose fashion inspiration seems to be "Whore Ernestine meets Rosie the Riveter." Lisa tells Bianca that she bullies everyone, yet thinks she's the victim. Bianca is done talking to Lisa, and points out that they'll never be friends. Lisa seems pretty much okay with that. As Bianca says that she's locked, loaded and ready for war, and one little thing can make a big eruption, we head to credits.
When the girls return home, Laura's strange Michael Jackson photo is being displayed as digital art. Laura explains that this is the best photo in which to get best photo, because you're honoring Michael Jackson. Bianca honors Michael Jackson in life, because of how she constantly wants to be starting something. Bre tells us what we already know, which is that, due to pressure in the house, a lot of personalities are clashing. We flash back to Bre playing Bianca's bodyguard and asserting the lie that everybody was good. She tells us that she's always there for her sister Bianca, but at the same time Bianca is a grown-ass woman who can fight her own battles. Bre, as it turns out, has her own battles to fight with the panel. She tells Bianca and Kayla that, no matter what her critique is, she's always called in the bottom three or four. Focusing too much on others (e.g., Bianca) is putting her own self in jeopardy, and so for the time being Bre is focusing on Bre.
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