America's Next Top Model

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Cirque du So Lame

Nine beautiful young ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has eight photos in her hands. And those photos represent the girls who are still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model. The best photo for the week will actually be the best group photo, and of course it will be displayed in the house as digital art. The best group photo goes to Brittany, Rae and Jennifer. Jennifer's crap ass was saved by the other two, much to the chagrin of the others who sucked. Everyone else is called individually. Laura gets her photo, followed by Nicole, Sundai, and Erin. This leaves Kara and Ashley in the bottom two. Two beautiful ladies, one photo in Tyra's hands. Kara was one of the judges' favorite girls in terms of her DNA, but then fucked it up by being the noun (moDLLLL) and not the verb (TO moDLLLL). Then there's Ashley. She's become lost, and since she's a dancer with the natural ability to move, she should know the angles of her body and how to best project them. Kara gets a photo, and Ashley gets the boot with encouragement from Tyra that she can go further if she stops looking like nothing.

As the ridiculous "Top model top model top model" autotune boot song plays, Ashley tells us that she feels cut short because she has so much more to give and to show. She wanted to do a lot more, and keep on proving that she could do more. She had never been a model but convinced herself -- perhaps ill-advisedly -- that she could do it, so it hurts to go home where she has far fewer people about which to shit-talk. At least she has a potential career as a noticeable talk show audience member!

Coming up: Go-sees! And an aerial photo shoot!

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America's Next Top Model

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