Previously on America's Next Top Model: Thirty-two bitches boarded a bus to Smizeville, and learned that they were vying for an Italian Vogue spread. Kayla showed up looking like a hot mess, but magically became kind of decent when her hair went from curly mop to freshly showered. Terra and Chris are going to get old real soon with their exhausting shtick. And Anamaria actually seemed to know what she was talking about. Fourteen girls are in it to win it!
We jump right in with our new models, who are strolling the Venice Beach boardwalk. Chelsey tells us that it basically lives up to every stereotype she's heard. Rollerblades, dogs, hippies. Anamaria, who is in possession of an extremely cocky walk, interviews that all of these girls are her competition. She notes that she's extremely high fashion, versatile, and irritating. That last part might be implied. Anamaria says that it might be her New York attitude, but she thinks she's fucking awesome. That makes one of us. Terra tries to convince us that it's an advantage to be in this competition with her sister, since the two of them will be able to pick off the others one by one. She hasn't yet realized that modeling isn't a full-contact team sport, apparently. Not that that wouldn't be great, particularly if styling tools could be used as weapons.
Venice Beach icon Harry Perry rollerblades up to the girls in his big-ass turban, playing the Top Model theme on his electric guitar. In the words of Chris, "Who is this fool?" Well, according to Wikipedia, playing an electric guitar on rollerblades while wearing a turban is, in fact, his vocation. Rhianna will probably be married to him by the end of the episode. After thoroughly scaring the girls, Harry Perry tells them that the fastest way to start their climb to the top is in their new house, which is right behind him. He looks back on a glass-walled structure and the girls grab their key and race in. Kendal, who lives in a mobile home normally, calls the place a glass palace. Or, as some may say, a fish tank. There are a lot of Italian Vogue covers on the wall, which ups the excitement for everyone. Chelsey says that her favorite part about the house is the runway in front of the window. For Rhianna it's the sandbox on the top level. That is certainly not the cleaning lady's favorite feature. Maybe some stray cats will make their way in and fashion it into a makeshift litter box. I would watch the hell out of those cats if they got their own show.