America's Next Top Model

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Potes: B | 1144 USERS: B
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Anamarexia

Everyone gets settled in to their new digs, and Chris tells us that it's hard to get used to all the different personalities. To wit, Chris tries to have a conversation with Ann. She opens by saying that they're going to find Ann a man. Ann kind of cracks up, but Chris is serious. She asks Ann what her type is. Ann replies, "Hobos are kinda hot." Chris is wearing a shower cap at the moment, which makes it all the more special when she says, "Big beard with a yellow ring around their mouth, yeah that turns me on." She diplomatically interviews, "Ann's different," and explains that she's nice and is just trying to hold a conversation. Those are her first and second mistakes. Chris asks Ann how old she'll go, and Ann says, "Sixty." She cracks up but you know she's totally serious and is going to, like, end up marrying Stephen Hawking. As if Chris's patience hasn't been tried enough, Ann adds, "He has to be a warlock. And he has to spit fire. And he has to know how to make sushi." Ann tells a nice story about being ostracized because she's so tall, but I think we're getting a little insight into the social dynamics at play. Though I can't say that I wouldn't at least try a warlock-owned sushi restaurant. Maybe she's on to something. Ann interviews that she's a weirdo. Thanks for clarifying. She doesn't go on to say whether it's by design or default. I'm not sure where I stand on that issue.

And then there's Anamaria. She tells Jane and Sara that her mom's always trying to get her to gain weight, but she likes how she looks when she's thinner. When asked if she's ever been thicker, Anamaria says that she previously weighed 135 and now weighs 110. Jane looks both disturbed and bored as she says, "You bitty." Anamaria interviews that she's on a calorie-restricted diet. It's how she keeps her weight in check, she says, and as a model that's how it should be. Well, at least we can now surmise that Anamaria is such a bitch because she's really fucking hungry all the time.

Several of the other girls get to know each other a bit better, and Kacey asks if anyone has a picture of their boyfriend. Kendal looks disdainful, likely picturing each of these girls with a handful of semen. Kayla asks if anyone else in the house is gay. Chris clarifies for us that Kayla is in fact gay, which is cool with her. Kayla is out and proud, and tells us that she would love to be the first lesbian to be America's Next Top Model. Oh Pigford, it's like we hardly knew ye. I'd wave my rainbow flag in support of Kayla, even though I guess I'd prefer the first openly lesbian winner to be able to find her way into or out of a room. I can't tell if Kayla looks much more attractive to me now that I know she's a lesbian, or if her straight, pulled-back hair is really that transformative.

America's Next Top Model

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