Back at the house there is more Tyra Mail: "Not seeing eye to eye? Tomorrow it's time to make-up. Love, Tyra." That sounds like some imminent Cover Girl shilling to me. Oh, but meanwhile, there's more Fo agony. Fo tearfully confessionalizes that when she was little she'd always hide who she really was. This has something to do with being poor and living off of food stamps. But, she whines, she's never really felt ugly until today. She says she has to hide her hair to feel pretty. And I mean, first off, she looks so much better so she should get over it. In the realm of hideous Top Model hairdos, this does not even rate. But also, this is season 12. If she thinks anyone remotely involved with any aspect of this show has a wad of sympathy, she is entirely deluded. She cries that this is what's going to break her in this competition. Then she should get the fuck out. Sorry. I do like Fo, but nobody has the patience.
The next day, the girls get ready for whatever dumb thing they're going to do. Jessica says that she knew they were going to cut her hair shorter. However, she thinks it's sexy as hell and adds that there's not really a lot of stuff you can do to make her look ugly. You could punch her in the face. The girls head off and meet Sutan, who is the cutest. I want to hug him and make him my gay boyfriend and watch reruns of The Golden Girls together. He introduces Cover Girl representative Elyssa Starkman. Put a flowered hat on her and you have Blossom 20 years on. As Elyssa talks, the camera passes by Kortnie who totally looks like a slightly less busted version of Lindsay Lohan with her orange skin and red hair. This facsimile meeting of Blossom / Lohan is kind of freaking me out, to be honest with you. I might need Six to intervene and calm me down. Anyway, Elyssa tells the girls that, in addition to a $100,000 Cover Girl contract, the winner of the show will have her image on an exclusive Cover Girl display in WalMart. Fart couture! Last season the girls had a makeup challenge in a WalMart aisle. Unfortunately, New York City has no WalMarts. They couldn't bus them to Long Island for the day? No, instead WalMart has been brought to the girls. A curtain drops, and there's the Cover Girl makeup aisle in its full glory.
Sutan tells the girls that at WalMart, every girl can make herself look less hideous for cheap. For this challenge, the girls will split into four teams of three. Each team will have to hit the streets to find a woman who embodies Cover Girl. They have to bring her back to the Cover Girl wall and introduce her to Exact Eyelights mascara. It comes in four shades with light-reflecting metallics and a hint of tint. The girls must be aware of what shade goes with what eye color so they don't go all Crystal Gale and make some poor lady's brown eyes blue. Sutan tells the girls that this challenge is not about applying makeup. It's about being ambassadors and spokesmodels for Cover Clump. As teams the girls will be judged on how well they explain what the product does. The winning team will participate in an Eyelights photo shoot to be displayed on WalMart.com. Today, WalMart.com. Tomorrow, French Vogue! The teams are as such: 1) Sandra, Aminat, Celia; 2) Fo, Kortnie, Teyona; 3) Jessica, Tahlia, London; 4) Allison, Nijah, Natalie. The teams only have twenty minutes, but I'm not sure if that's just to recruit whatever poor person on the street can be persuaded into taking a long lunch, or twenty minutes to conduct the entire challenge. But there's no time to ask questions, because the challenge starts now!