America's Next Top Model

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Timing Is Everything
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: 32 "beautiful" "girls" came to L.A. and learned the hard way that Tyra is somewhat selective in adding friends to her imaginary MyFierce page. Twelve finalists moved to New York and met one more surprise, very grungy member of the competition. There were tearful makeovers and personality clashes, and the announcement of a titillating photo shoot!

Speaking of said shoot, we enter with Jay introducing the girls to their wardrobe stylist Joanna Konjevod. Joanna's job is relatively easy, because today the girls will be modeling single items of clothing from the designer Custo Barcelona. The way this will work is that each girl will select one item of clothing, and will otherwise be nude! That's the way to get the season off to a good start. Jessica reminds us that she was raised in a religious family, who will likely flip over this. I mean, if they got through her being knocked up at 16, I think they'll survive this one. Jay tells the girls that they must really sell the one item of clothing they'll be wearing, and entice the consumer. Also enticing the consumer: naked girl bodies.

As is Top Model custom, it's going to be a bit of a free for all in selecting which item of clothing each girl will be wearing. They basically run up to a mannequin and grab something. Some will be lucky or forceful enough to get a shirt or jacket, while others will get a sparkly top hat. Jay yells go, and the girls rush the mannequin. If there were some group for the ethical treatment of mannequins, they would surely protest what happens next. The poor mannequin is knocked down, beaten, and battered, all so sparkly gold leggings can be grabbed. Speaking of the leggings, Gabrielle gets them. She tells us that she's not worried. You have to be confident, she says, and it shows if you're not. Yeah, but if you're confident even when you suck, that shows too and you just look extra ridiculous. The girls head backstage where they meet make up artist Vincent Oquendo and get their hair did by Ryan Taniguchi. Wait, what about Sutan? Sad face. Jonathan Mannion is the photographer for this shoot.

Alexandra is up first, modeling a necklace. It's a long necklace, so she kind of throws it around her back, looks over her shoulder, and covers her boobs with her arm. Jay says that Alexandra was really good on set when it came to the facial expressions, but wonders if that's enough. We'll have plenty of examples of how Alexandra fails with her body in just a bit! Angelea is next, modeling a pair of shoes. She lifts a leg and bends it across her body, but Anslee notes that you can still see her hoo-ha from down below. Brenda gawks for a minute, because as much as she professes to hate Angelea in her interviews (going so far as to say her personality is horrid), there's something innately fascinating about Buffalo hoo-ha. Sadly for Brenda, Jay likes what Angelea's doing. Angela interviews that she knew the other girls were going to watch her and try to size her up. She knows how to put on a show, she says, and she did. Featuring 200% more hoo-ha!

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America's Next Top Model

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