America's Next Top Model

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Timing Is Everything

Next is Ren, modeling a gold sparkly asymmetrical top hat that of course she loves. She chats with the folks backstage, and interviews that she tends to get along with the hair and makeup people. She's not going out of her way to make the other models like her. Or, I would add, to make us like her. She acts like this is a choice, which, I'm not so sure. Jay and Jonathan seem to like what she's doing. Angelea tells us that she didn't give Ren much thought, because she's so deficient in personality. However, she had a bomb-ass photo shoot, so might indeed be a threat. Krista is next, and has a "dress." It's basically like a sash of fabric that she's not even wearing. How is that a dress? Jay tells her that he gets a good photo when he covers up her face. Nice. The overall consensus is that Krista's shoot pretty much sucked. Even she's unsure about it. And that's a wrap!

The girls get Tyra Mail, delivered with a skull and crossbones symbol. Wouldn't it be great if this actually meant that one food item in the kitchen has rat poison in it, but they don't know which one? I'd find that an engaging season-long subplot, and a very effective way to curb midnight munchies. Sadly, it just means that panel is imminent and someone's going home. Gabrielle tells us that she's not scared, because she brings it in front of the camera, and thinks she did well at the shoot. Naduah also isn't nervous, but notes to a few other girls that Jay was pretty harsh on Krista. Brenda agrees, and thinks that Krista will be the one going home. With that, we head to commercials.

When we return, it's panel time! Tyra introduces the judges. There is, of course, noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker. And then there's guest judge and makeover facilitator Sally Hershberger. And then. It's the moment you've all been waiting for. Andre Leon Talley! He is, of course, the editor-at-large for Vogue, and Tyra says he's one of the most prolific, influential, and powerful people in the entire fashion world. And he has sat next to Anna Wintour at many a fashion show and not melted or had a spontaneous nervous breakdown. ALT is the real deal. As we will soon discover, he's something of a rich man's Miss J. He makes no sense, but makes no sense in French. ALT for the win. He's wearing what appears to be a Supreme Court robe, which is only fitting.

There are prizes: a contract from Wilhelmina Models; a cover and six-page spread in Seventeen magazine (which means the dread Ann Shoket will likely make multiple appearances on the show once again); and a $100,000 Cover Girl contract. And the biggest prize of all, of course, is having the chance to be insulted by Andre Leon Talley week after week!

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America's Next Top Model




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