America's Next Top Model

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Timing Is Everything

Ren is up first, looking "edgy" and unwashed, and like she hasn't slept in six years. The judges like her hat-wearing picture. Nigel and ALT both commend Ren on her eye contact. Tyra says that the challenge of this photo shoot was not to look too sexy, but bring fashion to the photo, and Ren did that. ALT likes the charm of how Ren holds her hands and feet in the photos, and thinks it gives her a naïve quality akin to a "woodland fantasy nymph." Sally Hershberger adds that she's a waif, and ALT says, "woodland nymph, yes." I guess you're not supposed to try to add anything after the great ALT has spoken, even if you agree with him.

Angelea is up next, and ALT loves the makeover, and also loves her picture. He commends her on her method of boob coverage, and totally covets the shoes she's selling. Sally thinks Angelea's face and hair are super sexy. Both Tyra and Nigel say that if this were an ad in the magazine, they'd stop and figure out where they could get the shoes. You always knew Nigel liked furry pumps, didn't you? Alexandra is next, wearing only a necklace. Nigel likes her, but thinks the way she's covering her boob doesn't work. We are learning important lessons today about how you should or should not cover your boob with your hand. File next to "booty tooch." ALT is not moved by the photo, and says that it doesn't give him the "zhush!" that he needs to go to the other side. Which other side is he talking about, exactly? Of the two "other sides" I can imagine, death seems the more likely.

Next is Raina, modeling only a ring. The judges love it. ALT says that her hands are so graceful, and she could be a courtesan in a 19th century painting. Tyra explains to Raina that a courtesan is like a mistress, and Raina is pleased. ALT says that she gives off a vibe of someone who's luxurious and used to big rings, big jewelry, big men, big lovers, and big houses -- in other words, the good life. Overall: gorgeous. Anslee has hooker boots, which Tyra loves. Oh, ALT just informed us that they're called cavalier boots. I actually might learn something this season. Otherwise, however, Anslee is wardrobe challenged and has to strip off a few layers and all her jewelry. Nigel says that Anslee has a stunning face and a good body, so it's a shame she didn't work it. ALT goes one step further and says, "You almost have a telescopic view into the nether regions." Lest you think this is a bad thing he adds, "Most girls did not do that, and you've done it with style." Apparently there is a right way to put your ladybits on display! Who knew?

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America's Next Top Model

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