America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Woman Warriors

When we return, Nigel is shooting Alexandria's Ford Focus print ad, and she's very excited about whatever new technology will allow her to control her car by voice or touch. She has never looked more like Reva Shayne than in her tarted-up cancer-fighting gear. Back at the house, Brittani cuddles in a leopard-print blanket and says that she doesn't hate Alexandria, because she doesn't hate anyone. However, she really, really, really, really, really doesn't like her. Mikaela says that she just laughs Alexandria off. Still, she acknowledges that she doesn't think Alexandria deserved to win the prize. Kasia announces that they have to figure out which way to handle Alexandria's reentry into the house. Either they give it to her 100% -- and by it, I think they mean full-on stank -- or they give her the silent treatment. Alexandria enters the house, and it seems that they have opted for the latter. No one says a word to her and she heads to her room. In the confessional, Alexandria says that she doesn't get it, and doesn't know what she's done. She's finally won a challenge, she says, and no one is happy for her. Just when I start to feel a little bad for Alexandria, she gets that crazy look in her eyes and that glottal tone in her voice and says, "I'm strong. I'm alpha. I'm the lioness. I'm getting what I want because I'm gonna do it, no matter what." When people refer to themselves as alpha, I think what they mean to say is, "I'm rather enjoy the fact that I'm a total dick."

The next morning at 6:45 a.m., Miss J. goes through the house and tells some bitches to wake up. He's scored them VIP treatment at Universal Studios, apparently, and is excited since he's never been there himself. I wonder what the total absence of Tyra Mail in this episode means. Maybe the Tyra Mail carriers went on strike or are protesting because she's trying to take away their right to collectively bargain? The girls get on a trolley for the studio tour, and wind up at the Bates Motel. Miss J. says that the movie Psycho terrorized his black ass for life, and the tour guide suggests that he get out for a photo op. Miss J. stands on the porch and pronounces that this moment is major. Just then, everything goes black and white and an old crone comes out of the house, grabs Miss J., holds a knife over his head, and announces, "You're not modeling H2T! You're not giving me neck! And where the hell is the smize?" Each pronouncement comes with a stab, and eventually J. keels over as the girls look on. Things go back to color, and we realize that Mrs. Bates is actually the Dowager Jay Manuel. I think we all get the message that we're looking at Tyra in another 40 years, though. Jay says that sometimes you need a little morning stabbing to get through the stress of the competition. Don't I know it!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

America's Next Top Model




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP