America's Next Top Model
Erin Wasson

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Life's a Ball

Dominique, who is 23 and from Houston, continues to hold the elephant and asks who has already claimed a bed. It turns out that everyone has a bed except for her and Monique. Everyone wonders if this means that two girls are going to be eliminated ASAP. After the trickery of earlier, Brittani tells us, you never know what these crazy loons on the show are going to pull. You have to constantly be on your toes. And not just any toes, your H2T fiercely pointed tippy toes.

After a commercial break, the girls receive their first Tyra Mail. It is a cause for celebration, because these ladies have NO idea what's coming. The Tyra Mail reads, "Let's get the ball rolling. Shall we? Love, Tyra." Nicole thinks that they may be modeling bowling shoes. Oh, honey, you wish. Jaclyn thinks that either they'll be going to a ball or a bowling alley. I love how nobody can even conceive of exactly how evil Tyra is.

The next day, the girls head to a beautiful house in Malibu, where they meet up with Jay Manuel and his special guest for the day, model extraordinaire Erin Wasson. She has walked for the best designers, been shot by the best photographers, and worn the best Victoria's Secret angel wings. Plus, she's a stylist and jewelry designer. And she does it all while wearing super short denim cut-offs and a blazer. Sometimes this show does make me feel really bad about myself. The gorgeous setting will provide a backdrop for the girls' first runway show, in which they'll be wearing clothes from the T by Alexander Wang collection. Alexander Wang is a dear friend of Erin's, and T is a collection in which you can buy $145 sweatpants. The girls cheer and Erin notes that they all love some A. Wang. They'll also get to wear jewelry from Erin's collection, LowLuv. Should you be tempted to remark upon how dumb this name is, Erin Wasson will doubtlessly silently retort that she looks better in miniature denim cutoffs than you may ever hope to.

Everything is happiness and excitement until Jay shares some news. The girls will be walking on a twelve-inch runway over water. It basically looks like a small wooden plank in a very elegant swimming pool. But if you think this is evil enough, then you obviously have never heard of something called the giant swinging pendulum. The geniuses at Top Model have outdone themselves, because for this show the girls will be walking in giant plastic bubbles akin to hamster balls! On the twelve-inch runway! That is over water! J. Alexander comes sauntering toward the girls in the hamster ball, and Jaclyn tells us that the thing that went through her head a million times was, "What if they can't get it open and I'm stuck in that bubble for the rest of my life?" FYI, I don't even think it's made of hard plastic.

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America's Next Top Model

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