America's Next Top Model
Exploring Greece

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Hating Ass Bitches
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We enter with the ladies returning home to their Greek abode following last week's judging. Dominique's Greek salad photo is displayed as digital art, and even Lisa acknowledges that she looks hot, or as hot as a lady can be as she's doused in olive oil and lounging next to a block of feta that's been baking in the sun for hours. Dominique says that she's the dark horse, and she knows a lot of the other girls didn't think she'd be sitting here right now. From experience I say that not a lot of viewers thought she'd be sitting there right now, either. I didn't even remember that she existed prior to the all-star season! I still have my doubts, actually. Dominique reminds us that she has two beautiful children, and says that she's on the show to follow her dreams and produce results and take it all the way. Well, she took it all the way to a giant salad bowl, which I think is far enough.

One person who is conspicuously not praising Dominique's photo is Miss Angelea. She doesn't understand why she's been in the bottom two and Dominique hasn't, particularly since her Greek salad photo shows strength and resilience and flyness amongst the wilted lettuce. Angelea still doesn't believe that Dominique is an all-star. She may have a point there. Angelea also wants people to recognize that, even coming from the ghetto (from the ghetto), she has talent. She knows that she can model, but also says that she's doubting herself. And her mama cries...

Also opening a big bottle of Haterade is Lisa, who doesn't understand why the judges are enraptured by everything Allison does. It's because she's awesome! Shut up! Lisa thinks that Allison looks like she's dead. THAT'S WHAT SHE'S GOING FOR. Also, tough talk, Sophia Petrillo. Lisa of course thinks she's the best all star and has the whole package and should win everything and blah blah blah. Elsewhere, Angelea tells Laura that she didn't think she'd get this far in the competition. Laura interviews that Angelea is lacking self-confidence, and is also very guarded. We cut to Angelea cracking under pressure during the Coco Rocha shoot, and Laura tells us that you can't have any doubt in your mind, because the moment you're not confident is the moment it all goes downhill. Laura just actually spoke some wisdom, people. It's kind of akin to when Jesus appears on the side of a gourd or whatever.

And then there is Tyra Mail! It simply says, "Tomorrow you'll meet with the judges... Fierce and Love, Tyra." But it's way too early for that! Everyone is confuzzled. Laura, who has turned into some kind of wizened soothsayer, says, "Is this a challenge... or a trick?" Maybe she has the sixth sense! Senses one through five are in doubt, however, as she calls this the most scariest (sic) Tyra Mail ever. Having just been in the bottom two, Laura is "escared" to death. With this, we cut to the most scariest credits of all seasons! Help, I am so escared!

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America's Next Top Model

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