The ladies are still in Greece, and decide to turn their attention to bitchery. Angelea has a particular hatred of Dominique, while Lisa comments that Allison looks like she's dead. Tough talk from someone of whom my mom said, 1) [Pointing] "She's old!" 2) [Upon Lisa's appearance] "I haven't found any bones or anything that are nice." Mama Potes: Calling it.
The challenge for a week has the girls judging one another in a mock casting. Though they have some mild criticism in regard to walks and portfolios, things really get gnarly when Miss J. asks each model to name the one girl who doesn't deserve to be there. Laura, Allison, and Lisa refuse to answer. And then there's Dominique. She says that the person who is lacking in all-star confidence is Angelea, who needs to get it together and own it. Angelea does not care for such constructive criticism, and in fact finds it unprofessional. She worked at a bank, so she should know. Laura gets in on the action and talks about how Angelea is guarded, then Lisa adds that Angelea is defensive about everything. Angelea does not want to hear any of it. She walks out with a firm, "Y'all bitches," and tells everyone to kiss her ass. She's crying, Laura's crying, it's a bad scene. Finally, Miss J. collects her and tells her to bring her ass back inside.
The girls fill out a score sheet to determine the weakest and strongest girls overall. Allison is named the weakest! That's crazy! Angelea is right when she says those ladies are some hating-ass bitches. Laura is named the strongest, and Lisa conjectures that it's because no one is threatened by her. She doesn't actually win anything for her meaningless victory. Instead, all of the girls go for a yacht ride with improbably named Greek socialite Twylem Pyper. They swim. Dominique belly flops. And then Twylem takes the ladies to a club. The shots are flowing, but the only one who seems to drink them is Laura. Sadly, no horrible shenanigans result.
For the week's photo shoot, the models have a fashion homage to the Olympic games, shot by Nigel Barker. Dominique does a so-so job throwing a javelin. Allison starts awkward with her discus but gets a little better eventually. Lisa's Olympic event is the hurdles, and though she's at first reluctant to jump Nigel talks her into it. She fears that the judges will pick a bad photo of her, and Nigel is like, "Whatever are you talking about?" I am so sure. Laura has a family history of archery, and looks absolutely lovely even with a veil over her face. And then there's Angelea. She seems to forget some of the basics, like the fact that her face should be turned toward the camera. Her final photo is really good, but Nigel had a difficult time shooting her. The judges also worry that Angelea's emotional/anger issues will erupt at the wrong time, like when she and Mario Lopez are interviewing Angelina Jolie. It could happen. In a different universe, but still. In the end, Laura's photo is named the best, and Angelea and Dominique land in the bottom two. Though all sings pointed to Angelea's exit, her personality (e.g. ability to call a bitch a bitch) saves her, and it's the unmemorable Dominique who gets the boot.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We enter with the ladies returning home to their Greek abode following last week's judging. Dominique's Greek salad photo is displayed as digital art, and even Lisa acknowledges that she looks hot, or as hot as a lady can be as she's doused in olive oil and lounging next to a block of feta that's been baking in the sun for hours. Dominique says that she's the dark horse, and she knows a lot of the other girls didn't think she'd be sitting here right now. From experience I say that not a lot of viewers thought she'd be sitting there right now, either. I didn't even remember that she existed prior to the all-star season! I still have my doubts, actually. Dominique reminds us that she has two beautiful children, and says that she's on the show to follow her dreams and produce results and take it all the way. Well, she took it all the way to a giant salad bowl, which I think is far enough.
One person who is conspicuously not praising Dominique's photo is Miss Angelea. She doesn't understand why she's been in the bottom two and Dominique hasn't, particularly since her Greek salad photo shows strength and resilience and flyness amongst the wilted lettuce. Angelea still doesn't believe that Dominique is an all-star. She may have a point there. Angelea also wants people to recognize that, even coming from the ghetto (from the ghetto), she has talent. She knows that she can model, but also says that she's doubting herself. And her mama cries...
Also opening a big bottle of Haterade is Lisa, who doesn't understand why the judges are enraptured by everything Allison does. It's because she's awesome! Shut up! Lisa thinks that Allison looks like she's dead. THAT'S WHAT SHE'S GOING FOR. Also, tough talk, Sophia Petrillo. Lisa of course thinks she's the best all star and has the whole package and should win everything and blah blah blah. Elsewhere, Angelea tells Laura that she didn't think she'd get this far in the competition. Laura interviews that Angelea is lacking self-confidence, and is also very guarded. We cut to Angelea cracking under pressure during the Coco Rocha shoot, and Laura tells us that you can't have any doubt in your mind, because the moment you're not confident is the moment it all goes downhill. Laura just actually spoke some wisdom, people. It's kind of akin to when Jesus appears on the side of a gourd or whatever.
And then there is Tyra Mail! It simply says, "Tomorrow you'll meet with the judges... Fierce and Love, Tyra." But it's way too early for that! Everyone is confuzzled. Laura, who has turned into some kind of wizened soothsayer, says, "Is this a challenge... or a trick?" Maybe she has the sixth sense! Senses one through five are in doubt, however, as she calls this the most scariest (sic) Tyra Mail ever. Having just been in the bottom two, Laura is "escared" to death. With this, we cut to the most scariest credits of all seasons! Help, I am so escared!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next
Comments