America's Next Top Model
Exploring Greece

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Hating Ass Bitches

Lisa's Olympic sport is the hurdles. She tells us that she did the hurdles in high school, so knows what she's doing. However, the panel is sick of seeing her jumping and doing the splits, which provides her with a conundrum. She gets on set, and Nigel tells her to imagine that she's going after an antelope in her long, sheer black gown. I mean, why not? She starts off just posing, and Nigel asks her to actually jump. Lisa explains that she's nervous about jumping because of the panel's reaction. She's trying to be safe, because she thinks that if there's a bad shot the judges might pick that for panel. Nigel tells the biggest lie of his career (including "that red weave is really slimming, Tyra") when he says, "That's absurd... first of all, that's not how it works." I mean, come on now. He then tells Lisa that he specifically picked this Olympic event for her, and she's holding herself back. Lisa says, "Well do you want me to get back up there? Let's do it." And then Nigel looks totally turned on and it's so gross I want to die. He actually pants a little. Lisa then starts jumping, and Nigel tells her it's truly beautiful. Lisa accepts that her special skill is jumping, and Jay approves.

Laura is next, and looks absolutely gorgeous in a brown dress with a veil over her face. Her Olympic sport is archery, and she tells Nigel that her sister is actually very good with a bow and arrow. Nigel says he's not surprised about this, and Laura simply replies, "We gotta eat!" Oh, the poor squirrels in the town or holler or coal mine where she lives. Laura is a little concerned about the net on her face, but says that she must push through it instead of hiding behind it. She looks beautiful, and Jay compares her to Athena. Nigel agrees that she's giving warrior princess. He tells us that Laura came to set and really delivered, even with the mask. As she's exiting set, Laura tells Nigel that her sister can kill with a bow and adds, "Best photo, right?"

Finally there's Angelea, who has a little purse to use for a shot put. Or as she calls it, "Pit shot." Have these ladies never even turned on the TV during the Olympics? She tells us that some of the girls underestimate her, but she likes being the underdog and is going to keep fighting. Nigel demonstrates the shot put, and Angelea has her doubts about how this whole thing is going to work. The shoot begins and Angelea poses facing the sea. The problem with that is that she's not facing Nigel. He says very tactfully, "I mean, without being obvious, you've got your back to me. I would love to take a picture of your face." Oh, Angelea. She's also a bit lost with the pit shot, and Nigel says that she was so awkward and without flow that she was difficult to photograph. Nigel tries to goad her into elegance, and actually has to physically position her, like that one task that you have to do in Cranium. Nigel asks Angelea to give drama, and then she keeps losing her arms. Angelea tells us that she's struggling to find her angles, but it's not looking good. As Angelea stumbles, it's a wrap.

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America's Next Top Model

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