America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A- | 1776 USERS: B-
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Looking Through the Fierce Eyes of Love

The girls get their hair, makeup and wardrobe done. McKey has to wear a red velvet toga with a curtain rod attached to it. Jeremy Scott asks her how she feels and she says, "Amazing." She looks like the Ghost of Christmas Present, which I guess could be considered amazing in some sense. Samantha practices her walk in the hallway and pulls her short dress up in a manner that she seems to consider sexy. Jeremy says to her, "You're raising your dress. Do not model like that." Except we don't see his lips move, so he may or may not have said it to her directly.

As the girls are getting ready, Miss J. calls them together to tell them that there's a twist to the challenge: they'll be blindfolded. Everyone is shocked and Hannah, who just learned to walk yesterday, can't believe the gosh-heck-darn that this is happening. Miss J. then announces that Jay Manuel and Ann Shoket, the editor-in-chief of Seventeen, will be the judges for the challenge. You know that the only reason that Seventeen still agrees to be part of this madness is because Ann Shoket loves to see herself on TV. Ann tells the girls that the challenge winner will get to shoot a Seventeen advertorial for Kira Plastinina, and will get to bring along two friends to boot. Sheena interviews that Kira Plastinina is a 15-year-old designer from Moscow. She sees Kira's success as evidence that you can do anything you want at any age if you have the right determination. Unless you are a 25 year old who wants to be America's Next Top Model. Sorry, old hags!

And then, the other stiletto drops. Jay tells the girls that it's time to get serious and ramp up the competition. Thus, the girls will have to walk tonight like it's their last runway show. Because, indeed, it will be one girl's last challenge. No photo shoot, no panel. That unlucky bitch is going home tonight. Super secret surprise mid-episode elimination! I mean, it's a little shady, but that's why we watch, right? Sam tells us that she's freaking out. The girls get outfitted in their blindfolds, and McKey tells us that you can, in fact, see a little bit with them on. Rats! I was hoping that someone would fall right in Ann Shoket's lap, or at least chip a tooth.

The show begins with a hunky male cat burglar descending from a balcony and opening the bank vault. There actually appears to be an audience for this show, which is both surprising and exciting. Elina emerges first and walks the plank/runway. She seems to do a pretty good job, and interviews that walking on the runway is one of the best natural highs you can get - even if you suck, you feel so cool. Analeigh is next in a truly hideous French-maid-slash-pioneer-schoolmarm dress. Analeigh, despite the blindfold, was smiling with her friggin' eyes and had all the confidence in the world, she tells us. Then there's Samantha. She bowlegs down the runway. And then! In slow motion! We see her lift her dress up, exactly as Jeremy allegedly told her not to do. The Jays and Ann cover their faces in shame. Backstage, Jeremy says that he told Samantha fifteen times not to do that. In Samantha's defense, she's wearing black leggings, and that thing is a shirt.

America's Next Top Model

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