America's Next Top Model

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Looking Through the Fierce Eyes of Love
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on ANTM: Makeovers! There was, as Rob Base predicted, joy and pain, sunshine and rain. You know who doesn't like rain? Elina, because her big curly McDonald fro will frizz to the sixth floor. Isis and Hannah had some hard times during a swimwear photo shoot due to package worries and crazy eyes, respectively. But it was Brittany who got the boot back to Vegas. Eh, at least she can see Cher at Caesar's as many times as she wants. Eleven bitches remain!

We begin with the girls entering their house at night. They see Elina's first place photo on the plasma screen, and she is happy. Analeigh shares with Marjorie and Hannah that she's afraid she's going to wind up in the bottom two again. It's a terrifying experience, she tells us, and even though she tried to hide her tears a few escaped. While this makes me feel a little bad for Analeigh, Hannah has no sympathy. She busts out with, "I feel like you guys are always wallowing. I am so over the pity party." Yeah, I mean God. It's not like they got practically gang raped or anything. Marjorie tells Hannah that she's being insensitive. And really, you are in this house either to bitch at people or listen to other people bitch. Just deal with it. Hannah confessionalizes that Analeigh and Marjorie get so wrapped up in the negatives that they can't remember the positives. She looks and sounds so much like a big annoying buck-toothed cartoon character right now, I can't even tell you. She continues by saying, "I don't understand pity parties. You pick up your beans and you keep on rolling." She even has her own catch phrase! About beans, beans the musical fruit, no less.

Tyra Mail! "Tomorrow your model dreams could end up in the gutter! Love, Tyra." Analeigh is apparently a genius, and deduces that they'll be doing runway walks in the bowling alley. This comes to pass the next day, when the girls meet Miss J. at a bowling alley called Lucky Strike. Miss J. relives his pre-Tyra days by disinfecting shoes behind the counter. These shoes, however, are fierce bowling heels. Hannah is amazed, as they don't have stiletto bowling shoes in Alaska. Miss J. tells the girls that runway is about precision, because models walk on every surface possible. Today, of course, they'll be sliding and gliding in lane number four. Does this whole thing make you want to go to rock n' bowl or what? My local lanes have karaoke in the bowling bar on rock n' bowl night. You know you're moving to Cranston, Rhode Island, bitches.

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America's Next Top Model

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