America's Next Top Model

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The Unfriendly Skies

Previously on ANTM: The girls took over Manhattan, but not in a Godzilla way (well, except for Whitney) as they went on designer go-sees. The photo shoot for the week involved being suspended on a plastic thingy with water in it that made everyone look like really well-appointed fetuses. Claire and Lauren ended up in the bottom two, with Claire getting the boot and thus ending her run as unstoppable Cover Girl of the Week winner / Naima Junior. Seven bitches remain!

We enter with the girls at home, marveling over the fact that Claire was eliminated. Whitney is very proud to have gotten as far in the competition as she has, being a plus-sized model. Lauren drones on that no matter what she's going to be an artist and a model. Well, apparently all you need to do to be an artist is to repeatedly inseminate yourself and then induce multiple abortions. So that's easy. Modeling, however, is a bit more challenging. Lauren is getting the confidence she needs to make it. Stacy-Ann is sick of getting called last, and is determined to prove that she can be America's Next Top Model. Or, America's Next Top Heat Miser Clone. Seriously, the hair!!!

Some girls chat in the bedroom, and Dominique predicts that they are going to be heading overseas soon. She confesionalizes how awesome everything will be once they're abroad. I think she might be naked in the confessional, which can't be sanitary. She wonders where they're going, and what their grocery list will be like. What the eff is she ever even talking about? You can tell the other girls are just used to tuning her out, too. Every once in a while Stacy-Ann mutters a half-hearted, "Goodness," or something. Fatima looks sullen. More sullen. But this time, it's not because someone has thrown out her coffee. Rather, the prospect of going abroad is making her nervous because she's not a U.S. citizen, and has lost a travel document. If she doesn't have that document, she tells us, she can't leave the country. When she says "travel document," I believe she means "passport and visa." Which, bitch, get a purse! That is whack.

In the kitchen, Fatima talks about her situation with the rest of the girls. Dominique, in a towel and plastic showercap, is eager to hear. Put on some clothes, woman! God. Fatima explains that she's not a U.S. citizen -- she only has a green card. She lost her travel document in Atlanta. Her lawyer is working on expediting the process, but she could get kicked out by default if her travel document does not arrive in time for her to go abroad. She starts crying, and then cries some more in an interview. She wants to be there and have the same opportunities as everyone, she says, and it's really hard. Back in the kitchen, Anya tells her to keep bugging the consulate. And then maybe they'll send her passport via priority unicorn! Anya thinks that Fatima should have all the opportunities that the rest of them have. And I mean...doesn't she? It's not like the U.S. government is preventing her from going out of the country because she's not a citizen. She lost her own damn stuff. This is, like, the one thing that ISN'T George W. Bush's fault. Fatima accepts that she'll have to pay the consequences if this doesn't work out. I don't think "pay the consequences" is an actual saying, but as we've learned she's not a U.S. citizen, so I'll cut her some slack.

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America's Next Top Model

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