America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A- | 2 USERS: A+
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The Unfriendly Skies

But who cares about Fatima's stupid life drama -- it's time for the party! We see Lara Spencer from The Insider on the green carpet, microphone in hand. Oooh, are the girls going to be able to handle her journalistic chops? We get to see some of the fancy green carpet arrivals. These include Paulina Porizkova. With her, directly from the grave, is husband / Cars frontman Ric Ocasek! Then there are celebrity powerhouses Jay Manuel and J. Alexander, along with Nigel Barker. And then Jay Godfrey himself! Great -- another Jay is just what this show needs. Turns out he and Lara, who towers over him, are judging the challenge. Jay Godfrey says that he's looking for who works the green carpet, and who works the party the best. If they're comfortable and confident, they have a shot at winning the challenge.

Stacy-Ann hits the green carpet first, in a very flattering pink and gold dress. Lara asks Stacy-Ann if Tyra intimidates her. Stacy-Ann says that she loves Tyra. She is so not intimidated by Tyra that she can't even say the word "intimidating." Next is Anya, also in a pink creation. She says she should be America's Next Top Model because she's an inspiration and has a positive attitude. She brings a good energy to people. Like a human Red Bull, is Anya. She does seem very poised as she says it, but when you listen closely she makes absolutely no sense. I know you're as surprised as I am about that. But inspired and energized nonetheless. We see but don't hear Fatima, get a brief moment with Katarzyna, who looks gorgeous, and then have a moment to focus on Dominique. Lara asks Dominique who she's wearing. Dominique's answer? "Jay Giorgio." Awesome. There is a gong, and they're not even IN China, so you know this is bad, if less racist than usual.

Lauren is next, and is forced to tell Lara Spencer that she cut her thumb off. Lara asks Lauren why she should be America's Next Top Model, and Lauren says she could kick the shit out of those girls anytime. So her secret stank is located somewhere other than her thumb tip! Good to know. Lara is scandalized. Next we have Whitney, who is wearing a shiny blue trash bag that's cut to the navel. It makes her look huge, and like her boobs are unevenly placed. Maybe that's what Jay Godfrey was going for with this particular look. Lara asks Whitney why she should be America's Next Top Model, and Whitney replies that the majority of women in America eat regularly, and it's important to represent the country that you're representing. I feel like that came directly from my George W. Bush quote-a-day countdown calendar. She is currently representing the Gorgs' Garden. Thank you for your wisdom, Madame Heap.

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America's Next Top Model

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