It's the final four! The girls meet with a crazy Italian acting coach who makes them project their voices and run around crazily. It's a rough time for Ann, whose screams even sound like silent tears. The acting lesson is in preparation for a meeting with a very important client -- Vogue Italia editor-in-chief Franca Sozzani! ALT is there in a conductor hat to lurk around and watch as the girls show a visibly unimpressed Franca their portfolios and try to chat her up a little. Kayla uses the unfortunate phrase "modeling stuff," and explains nothing about herself. Franca thinks she's pretty, but has no character. Chelsey is chatty and talks a lot about her experience, which leads Franca to believe that she does, in fact, have character. Ann tries to speak up, but is unsure if she should talk or not. She wonders if Franca hates her. Franca doesn't, but does say that Ann is very shy. Jane doesn't go far in proving that she has a personality, and Franca notes that she doesn't have enough character… in her face. Chelsey wins the challenge, and she and Kayla get: 1) a private viewing of The Last Supper with ALT; 2) a night at a seven-star hotel in Milan. Seven stars! And yet it still has twin beds! Meanwhile, Ann draws an anime version of The Last Supper on a napkin and she and Jane celebrate with vodka and Chinese food. That sounds like a pretty good evening, too.
The photo shoot for the week is kind of a video shoot. It's called a motion editorial, and the idea is that it is photos brought to life. Or, a video. It requires just a little bit of acting, and quite a bit of directing from none other than Miss Tyra Banks. She asks for hard-core sexuality, pain and fear and tells the girls that they'll be outfitted in some beautiful couture, courtesy of Vogue Italia stylist Valentina Serra. The girls must writhe around in wedding-ish gowns to start off, then whip their hair up and down, and then sport menswear, and then whisper their own names, and then deliver the line, "What's your beauty?" while making sweet love to a bush. Ann even flashes a boob. Chelsey delivers a surprisingly good performance. Jane is stunning, but once again there's limited emotion behind it. Ann looks crazy, but the judges love it. Kayla's is the most realistic, and she looks really gorgeous. Franca thinks that Kayla is beautiful, but will only work for some photographers. This is apparently a positive. Ann's name is called first at judging, much to Chelsey's chagrin. But Chelsey isn't sad for too long, because she's also a finalist and will join Ann in a Roberto Cavalli fashion show. Kayla and Jane take it all in relative stride. In fact, Jane seems to be a little relieved. The real news of the hour is the premiere of "Modelli Folli," translated as "Model Madness," Tyra's motion editorial directorial debut. Hold out for the moment when Ann's hair appears to eat her head!
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Previously on Top Model: The girls fell apart on Milanese go-sees, but Chelsey's past experience and terrific initiative in going to two go-sees instead of one like everyone else ensured her challenge victory. The girls were transformed into bird-shit receptacles slash statues for an artsy photo shoot, and Jane crumbled under the pressure. Her lack of personality continued to be a problem, while for personality-filled Chris it was the lack of focus that was a problem and led to her elimination. Only four bitches remain! And only one will appear on the pages of Italian Vogue.
Milan! Statues! Street bands with accordions! And the top four bitches riding in a bus back to their apartment. Excitement abounds. Jane reminds us that Tyra saw a crack in the robot that she is at panel. Tears were involved, naturally. This week, Jane is determined to show the judges that she has personality and to rise to the top of the pack. Ann says that she hardly knows anything -- still! -- but she's really trying to study. Chelsey, ever the Ann-hating martyr, says that she lives in Idaho, and there's more fashion in Ann's home state of Texas than there is in Idaho. Ann actually gives a "Bitch, please," look that I love and want to bottle. It's well deserved. Chelsey's been getting a bit of a hag edit this season, in absence of true bitchery. The problem is that she's not really outlandishly awful, and so it all just comes off as irritating rather than entertaining slash terrible. And her continued insistence on going after Ann of all people is like repeatedly pinching a kitten. Leave the kitten alone! We like her!
Chelsey tells us that the competition is getting very intense very quickly and Ann is just coasting through it. And really, that's Ann's good fortune. Back in the bus, Chelsey continues to lecture Ann by saying, "If you're passionate about it, you make time." A super chill Ann interviews, "Chelsey is steppin' up her game. So I've gotta step up my game, I guess. Heh heh." In the bus, Chelsey continues that she saves up money to buy "The Vogue." Her parents won't buy it for her because it's too expensive. Well, yeah, she's 22, and cobbling together the $15 for a subscription to Vogue should actually be an achievable goal. God. Chelsey interviews that before this competition she was indeed planted in Idaho like a sprouting potato, and there's not so much going in on terms of the fashion world. But pursuing a career in high-fashion is what she's been doing all this time, and all that she's ever wanted to do. I thought she lived in L.A. for a while? Isn't that where she racked up all this experience that she talks about all the time? I feel like you can't say that you're so experienced at go-sees AND at the same time say that you had to, like, sell a hog to get a subscription to Marie Claire.