America's Next Top Model

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Designer Imposters

Kendal is next and tells Jay that all she knows about Vera Wang is that she does bridal collections. Jay says that Vera Wang is humble, but at the same time isn't afraid to smile and be confident because she knows what she's contributed. This is admittedly kind of a difficult one, because Vera Wang is comparatively nondescript when you put her up against the likes of John Galliano and Betsey Johnson. Kendal doesn't have a whole lot to go on. But the one thing she does have to go on -- the fact that Vera Wang smiles -- is largely ignored. Francesco isn't happy with what she's doing on set, which is basically just standing there and looking mean. Kendal says that she's trying to be simple, and Jay says that it's registering as blank. Francesco implores her to add a little light to her expression. Jay says that Kendal was flat and boring, and it doesn't seem like she's passionate about being there.

Kayla and her red hair get the fun task of portraying Vivienne Westwood. Francesco tells her that she shouldn't pose too much, but rather make it about the energy and expressions. Vivienne Westwood is all about energy, and also apparently all about throwing flowers. Kayla loves Francesco's volume and energy. She says that he knew what he wanted, and didn't stop until he got it. He seems to get it without too much trouble, which bodes well for Kayla sticking around for another week. Jane is next as Marc Jacobs, and mostly looks like Judy Garland in the "We're a Couple of Swells" skit, but not so dirty and toothless. Like an actually swell swell portrayed by a lady in a man's suit. Francesco tells us that Jane didn't know how to position her body as a man, or come in with clear ideas. He's nice about it, but tells her that she has to bring herself into character.

Ann is next as Alexander Wang, but really looks like Wil Wheaton. She literally just sits there and does nothing. I'm sure the judges will think it's genius. Ann tells us that it's pretty easy for her to incorporate Alexander Wang's boyish attitude, since she was a tomboy growing up. She sits like she sat in her Algebra I class and will await her tongue bath for it. Esther is next, and really has a hard lot in her attempt to pose as Christophe Decarnin. She has the worst wig, and is also wearing some really unfortunate skinny jeans. Her jaw has disappeared entirely, and not just because small hairs are glued to it. Esther says she kept getting caught up in whether she was being manly enough. She wasn't. Francesco keeps yelling, "Come on! You're a dude! You're a guy!" Jay tells us that Esther was a disappointment on set, and it was a struggle to shoot her non-masculine self. The wardrobe folks did a good job of hiding the knockers, though.

Back at the house, the girls debrief. Esther tells the others about her harsh criticism, and then pouts in the confessional. She says that the shoot went really bad, and that she keeps trying and failing. She doesn't want to go home, and so hopes someone does worse than her. The girls get the Tyra Mail of Doom, telling them that after tomorrow only seven bitches will remain. Kendal tells us that she's at the bottom of the pack, and needs to have pulled out a great picture. As she ruminates on her fear of elimination, we head to commercials.

We return to backstage, pre-panel shenanigans. Tyra gets her hair did and tells Nigel that the first time she met him she was stunned and titillated by the fact that she had to pose naked for his fine-ass self. Nigel looks totally uncomfortable and a little scared, and maybe will call HR after this. Tyra says that Nigel is like her brother now, and then flips through her dog-eared copy of Flowers in the Attic. The girls enter and Tyra greets them. There are prizes, there are judges. ALT's cape has extra sheen tonight. Francesco Carrozzini is the guest judge, and is looking cuter than ever.

Kayla is up first, and her hair has crossed the line to whackness. But maybe that's appropriate given her portrayal of Vivienne Westwood. Nigel tells her that it's very striking and strong in the eyes, and is one of her best shots. He really sees the model in her. Francesco says that Kayla really went for it, and wasn't afraid to express herself. ALT is convinced that Kayla is Vivienne, and Tyra loves the fire in Kayla's face. She also loves that Kayla outshone the other model in the shot. Liz is next, and actually gets kudos from ALT for her ensemble. Her Galliano photo gets raves. Despite the top hat and extensions and pencil moustache, Nigel says that the photo is subtle. It would be easy to take Galliano to crazy lengths, but Liz kept it controlled. Francesco says that Liz came on set convinced that she was Galliano, and it looks like she studied the character. This is particularly impressive since she had no idea who he was. ALT says that Liz caught his body gestures and the subtlety of his theatricality. Also, she looks like a man. Liz rightly takes this as a compliment for once. Tyra tells Liz that she has the gift of androgyny, and she has bone structure that gives her sexuality, sensuality and strength. She needs to work it, because it's magic.

Chelsey is up next, portraying Miss Class, Miss Style, Miss Starched White Shirt, Carolina Herrera. Nigel says that it's stunning, and that it's Chelsey's best photo so far. Her face looks so funny, though! Nigel does add that she lacks charm in the photo. ALT says that it's a Carolina Herrera moment, and she looks fantastic. Esther's Christophe Decarnin photo is next, and Nigel tells her that it's too over the top. He sees Esther in costume, and can't get past that. Somewhat paradoxically, Francesco tells Esther that there's not enough of herself in it. Tyra tells Esther that she's lost her amazing bone structure by being too lax in her face. When portraying a man, you want to clench your jaw and get a little bonier of face. Her Christophe looks kind of like a handsome guy, but he isn't as handsome as Esther is beautiful.

Next we have Jane as Marc Jacobs. Nigel would like to see more action in the body, and to have her be more broken rather than so puffed up in the chest. Marc Jacobs is chill, gritty, and down to earth, which doesn't come through in the photo. Tyra reiterates that Top Model isn't about just standing around dead-eyed and dressing up -- it's about knowing people in the industry. She adds that the girl who goes home today is going home because she didn't know who her designer was. And -- spoiler! -- the girl who gets top photo today also didn't know who her designer was. This fact kind of negates Tyra's declaration, and proves the ultimate point that if you can fake it in this world, you can probably make it, at least on a short-term basis.

Kendal's Vera Wang shot is next, and Fracesco says that she was nervous and wasn't taking direction. She gave the impression that she wasn't trying, even though she's beautiful. Tyra's fear is that Kendal is the noun and not the verb. So she was born a model, but isn't modeling. Kendal says that her nerves might be blocking her, and she acknowledges that she needs more experience. Fracesco tells her that often it's personality that makes a model, and Kendal looks troubled. Ann's Alexander Wang photo is next, and gets the expected tongue bath. Nigel says that it's unbelievable how she changed. It's not the prettiest shot of her, and he loves it for that reason. ALT thinks it's great, and adds that Ann looks great today in person. Francesco says that Ann understood the subtle performance necessary, and Tyra enjoys the fact that Ann looks like a Dickensian street urchin.

Finally, we have Chris. Her photo is pretty delightful. Nigel thinks it's brilliant, and really captures Betsey's nonstop movement and sense of humor. He adds that Betsey would be proud. Francesco says that Chris has amazing energy, but has to know that there are moments when she has to change and do something different. Even if the photographer likes what she's doing, he'll end up with a whole lot of the same thing. ALT mysteriously doesn't like the photo, even though he thinks Chris is fa

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America's Next Top Model




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