America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 846 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Stop, Smize and Roll

Monique asks Sara whether her priority is college or modeling. Sara says that she has to hit the ground running when she goes back to school. I believe Hannah screams, "Samesies!" I am learning so many new words in this episode. Alexandria pipes in to say that she doesn't know what the other bitches will be doing when this show ends, but she's going to be working some fucking runways. And really, there's no shame in wanting to make a career transition into baggage handling. Alexandria plans to work at the IMG airport. Oh, wait. I think she thinks she's going to be a model. HAHAHAHA. Everyone looks at her like she's whack. They're like, "Have you SEEN the show?" Alexandria intends to go to New York either way. Sara pipes in to say that they all can't leave their families and head off to New York and live as big-city impoverished feminist creepers. They'll have to start small if this doesn't work out, and it was a big hope and a prayer to begin with. Alexandria looks at Sara like she's insane. Sara is pissed that Alexandria is questioning her purpose and passion for modeling. She points out that when her looks are gone, she needs a way to provide for the people she loves. Alexandria looks completely flummoxed from the idea that a person would think about someone else. She tells us that she's not going back to Orange County. This is about becoming a supermodel, and she'll be heading to NYC either way.

Tyra Mail! "If you don't watch your step, your career will go up in flames. Love, Tyra." Jaclyn conjectures that they'll get to go to a fire station, walk up steps, and carry hoses. Sara pokes at Jaclyn's cheeks and asks if she wants to see the fireman. Jaclyn says, "Oh yeah," because underneath that baby face she's a total freak.

The girls head to some sort of warehouse where Miss J. greets them. There's a runway set up, and he notes that it's clear why they've been taken to this abandoned setting. Tonight, they'll be walking in a runway show for Geoffrey Mac, a designer who has worked with Lady Gaga. Dalya tells us that she has the strongest runway walk, and has got this one down. Miss J. puns that he wants to see the girls light up with a burning desire to come out on top, to help them ignite that flame. As he says the word "flame," the sides of the runway get totally fiery. Who better to talk about flaming, really? Monique wonders what the point of this is. The answer is: to kill you for our amusement! Molly interviews that she didn't know how this would work without them dying. Exactly! For our amusement! When a model actually does get disfigured we'll all probably think it's horrible, but for the time being I appreciate this show more and more with each delightful challenge.

America's Next Top Model

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