America's Next Top Model

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Stop, Smize and Roll

Miss J. tells the girls to make sure they can outshine the flames, and then shares an additional twist -- they'll also be lighting the girls on fire. Only their hands, though. BOO. Still, this promises to bring about the excitement of Michael Jackson Pepsi commercials of yore. Hannah tells us that she's been struggling with her walk, and so has to deliver a fiery A-game tonight. The winner of the challenge will get two dresses from the Geoffrey Mac collection, and a lifetime supply of burn ointment. With that, the girls are sent to hair and makeup.

Make-up artist Patti Bortoli gives Mikaela a very smoky eye, while hairstylist Megan Weems takes scissors to Molly's weave. Molly winces in pain, but says she's just happy that Tyra's taking that shit out of her head. Molly holds the dead, scraggly blonde extensions in her hands as Megan removes the last of it. Molly tells us that they'll probably redo her weave, but not for tonight. She should enjoy that natural head of hair while she can, because the do-over promises to look terrible also.

Roberto Carneiro, the wardrobe stylist, shows Sara her dress, while assistant stunt coordinator Mark Chadwick puts gloves on Hannah. She notes that her hairspray mixed with the flames could lead to disaster, which freaks her out. As she gets her gloves on, Sara hilariously asks, "What if I get disfigured in this and I want to become a hand model?" She's a little nervous, given that she's never walked down a runway while on fire. She sums it up nicely, saying, "I'm trying not to shit my pants." Miss J. doesn't help pants-shitting matters when he meets with all the girls to tell them what to do if they fall. Someone suggests stopping, dropping, and rolling, but Miss J. says that they should clap their hands, put out the fire, and get the hell off the runway. That might address a fiery glove situation, but what if they actually fell into the flames lining the runway? This question remains unanswered. Miss J. welcomes the audience to the show and the runway lights up. Backstage, the girls silently pray. It turns out that there are bursts of flames coming out of metal tubes, which is cause for even more alarm on the part of the models and more delight on the part of the audience. Dalya tells us that she's going to go in flames -- literally! -- as we head to commercials.

When we return, the girls continue to shit their couture pantaloons. Alexandria is opening the show, because no one more deserves to be set ablaze. She tells us that she's scared but excited, and really wants to win the challenge. She steps on the runway and places her gloves, which are outfitted with some sort of little flame holder in the middle, over fiery cauldrons located on each side of her. The gloves hold the flame, the audience applauds, and Alexandria stomps on the runway. Miss J. says that Alexandria can look a little rough around the edges, but really held her own today and looked great.

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America's Next Top Model

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