America's Next Top Model

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Stop, Smize and Roll

Brittani loves fire and so is ecstatic about the challenge. She lights her hands and says she feels like the Queen of Fire, or a Pointer Sister. Brittani walks down the runway, and Alexandria notes that she's strong competition. Mikaela is next, followed by Jaclyn. Both of them look okay, if not exceptional. Molly was a "slight pyromaniac" when she was a kid, and so isn't really worried about the fire situation. After she's walked she says the whole thing was bad-ass. Sara is next, and of course has problems lighting her hands on fire. She says that usually that's a good thing. Not in this case, though. Kasia interviews that she loves Sara, but her runway walk was a hot mess. Speaking of Kasia, she's next, and sort of wiggles down the runway in a very short dress while squinting at us. Miss J. says that she has a habit of wanting to be extra sexy, and it's always focused in her mouth. Was hers the cat anus pucker that Nigel was talking about?

Monique and Hannah walk, and then it's Dalya's turn. She says that she was pumped up when she hit the runway and there was no stopping her. Miss J. tells us that Dalya looked very elegant and focused. The girls take a final collective pass at the runway, with not a one being even slightly disfigured. This show never lives up to its promise.

Miss J. meets with everyone to give them feedback. Sara had trouble getting lit, and when she did it was sloppy. That statement perfectly captures my early 20's. Sara's walk was a little bit better than expected, I'm guessing because J. has very low expectations for her. Hannah needs more presence, and seems lost. Kasia has got to get out of the habit of using a mean, sexy pucker. So they're on the bad end. The three girls who are neck and neck at the top are Alexandria, Brittani, and Dalya. Happily, the winner is Dalya. She gets the two dresses from Geoffrey Mac, and doesn't even have to share anything with anyone. Woohoo! J. tells Hannah, Sara and Kasia that they need more practice with their walks, and so will get to walk home. They're like, "HAHAHA," until they realize that he's serious.

We never learn the actual distance from the venue to their house, so it's hard to say just how much of a punishment this is. However, Hannah tells us that they have to walk through a ghetto area and she wishes they had gotten brass knuckles and pepper spray to aid them on their journey. They are not happy. They start off wearing regular shoes, and then Kasia says she intends to put her heels back on to get some legit practice in. She's a professional, she tells us, and is harder on herself than anyone else can be. So if they tell her she needs to walk home, she'll do it in a stiletto. The three girls strut, and finally make it back to the house.

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America's Next Top Model

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