America's Next Top Model

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Stop, Smize and Roll
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Last time: Sara was incredibly sad and disappointed that she didn't get a long weave, even once she got an eyeful of Molly, who looked like deranged Twist N' Twirl Barbie and was not happy about it. Alexandria continued to be stank, and Dominque didn't have any thoughts in her head. Despite being among good company, she was sent home. Ten bitches remain!

The girls return to their house to find Alexandria's best-of-week photo displayed as digital art. And I can't remember if I've mentioned it already, but I finally figured out who Alexandria reminds me of: Guiding Light's own Kim Zimmer! Yes, Alexandria looks like an older and stanker Reva Shayne. Watch for her to seduce every member of the Lewis clan and then win an Emmy with her abundant tears. Alexandria tells us that it was amazing to be called first, and that her face probably was filled with shock. Especially, as we are reminded, when Tyra called her out for being a complete nit on set. Tyra told Alexandria that her bad attitude will not be tolerated. She says that she wants to redeem herself if anyone took her attitude wrongly. Aha! So it's just a matter of incorrect interpretation. Alexandria is still wearing her stupid "Borderline" video hat with the big bow on it in her interview segments, which makes her rationalizations look even more ridiculous.

Meanwhile, the other girls talk shit about Alexandria. Kasia says that even if she had a great picture she shouldn't have gotten the best photo of the week because of her attitude issues. Brittani agrees that top models don't act the way that Alexandria does. Your honor, I submit as evidence a bloody cell phone featuring Naomi Campbell's fingerprints. Kasia was hoping Alexandria would go home. She notes that Alexandria was unprofessional on set and didn't deserve top honors, and that everyone would love if Alexandria goes home next.

Sara tells us that being in the bottom two was depressing, and even more depressing is the fact that her self-doubt and lack of confidence put her there. She says that she's kind of a "creeper," a feminist, and from a poor background. Urban Dictionary tells me that a creeper is, "A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. Usually a close friend or relative. You know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. It is not hard to spot the creeper." While I'm sure Rush Limbaugh would find being a creeper preferable to being a feminist, I don't think it's a very nice way to characterize yourself. Does Sara use "poor feminist creeper" for her Twitter bio? It's all very strange. Sara continues that she doesn't look like all of the other girls, and feels like she's less of a woman compared to them. But baby dykes are often among the best of all women! No need to distress when your feminist principles bristle up against long-held gender norms. You rock that sports bra and bandana in the patriarch's face. Sara knows she has to show that she believes in herself as a model, and has the confidence and self esteem to be in the competition. She also has to stop staring through Tyra's bedroom window for hours on end, hoping to catch her reading The Feminine Mystique.

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America's Next Top Model

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