America's Next Top Model
Georgina Chapman

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Kyle got a long-awaited boot, which may finally squash her well-known compulsion to smile for miles. Seriously, will those three seconds of song not haunt your dreams forever? Throughout the day they will randomly pop into my head, leaving me to pull at my own hair and scream, "Nooooooooo!" into the ether. When people ask what's wrong, I can merely mumble, "Stop...drop...tooch," and weep. If my co-workers take me away in a straightjacket, please use this as evidence.

Anyway! The girls return home from panel to find a giant box of presents for the Brits. This is all in honor of Sophie's best-of-week photo, in which she tells us she's giving both side-tooch and smize, along with a helping of fierceness. This is just the confidence boost that Sophie needed, and she's pleased that the judges have finally taken notice of her. It's funny that she'd characterize it that way, because I think she's been a bit of a front-runner from the outset. As the Brits celebrate and revel in whatever crap they've gotten, Seymone pouts. She doesn't think the Brits are staging a comeback, but have rather gotten a "little moment to shine." This one has haggis in her soul, doesn't she?

Later, there is much celebration about the fact that Kyle is gone. Though several of the girls seem pleased, Laura is the most vocal and tells us that the fat (bony fat, such as it is) has been trimmed and the competition is on. Elsewhere, Sophie puts hot sauce on a piece of celery (gross or genius? I can't decide!) as Alisha complains about the judges calling her a commercial model. In London, apparently, Alisha is considered editorial, so this is all very confusing to her. Poor Alisha went from the top to the bottom two, and says that it's just the wake-up call she needed. From now on, she pledges to be a beast and win the damn thing. I figure it's going to be her or Sophie, given the rapidly thinning and not always impressive American herd.

After credits, we see Alisha looking at Sophie's digitally displayed best-of-week photo, and telling Eboni that the eye makeup makes the whole thing. Oooh, do I detect a little bit of trouble brewing amongst the Brits? Alisha goes on to tell us that Sophie's agencies in London are the best, and it's greedy of her to even try for the Top Model prizes, which include two agency contracts. Both of Alisha's parents have been working three jobs, in part to support her, and she wants to be successful and be able to provide both for herself and for them. I do wish that Tyra would, like, hire the whole family at a fair wage. They seem like lovely people.

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America's Next Top Model

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