Can you believe we're at the final four already? Sam, McKey, Analeigh and Marjorie kick off the week by meeting up with Paulina for a teach about how to act in commercials using effective facial expressions. The girls have to relish the smell of herring and the feel of toilet paper and hear a variety of news on the phone that makes them angry or excited or prone to overacting. They must use what they've learned in the teach at the week's challenge, which has them appearing in a commercial audition in which they must flirt with a guy while running on a treadmill and then run up and kiss him. Male model Mark Vanderloo is the object of their collective affection, and the receiver of a bunch of awkward pecks. In general the girls all do pretty well, though it's Marjorie and her new and improved sense of joie de vivre who actually wins the challenge. She gets a big boost after her last appearance in the bottom two, and also a $10,000 shopping spree that she shares with Analeigh.
Marjorie is feeling so good that she decides to invite over the guys who drove the boats during the go-sees. If history and Shandi have taught us anything, it's that things are about to get all “YOU HAD SEX?!?”-ish. To speed that process along, Marjorie asks the guys to bring over some wine. It turns out that she's the only one of the girls who drinks. It's an advantage in this case as it means there's more for her! While McKey wrestles one of the guys and Sam impresses another with her card tricks (?????), Marjorie makes out with another then hops into the bathtub with him. Even though they're fully clothed, Marjorie's boyfriend/cockblocker Analeigh is having none of this and she and the other girls rally to kick out the Dutch boys before Drunkenstein Marge can be defiled. Thanks, Analeigh, for spoiling all the fun.
The photo shoot for the week has the girls posing in crazy high-fashion clothes with extreme hair and makeup in the Dutch countryside. There are windmills, there are pitchforks. While McKey and Analeigh pose with ease, Sam and Marjorie both have trouble getting into the groove and only ramp it up in their final few frames. Everyone's final shot turns out pretty good, though. At panel, Marjorie battles her nerves by getting drunk and/or being boring, and the judges don't know what to do with her other than send her home. And with that, we have our final three!
Previously on ANTM: Go-sees resulted in fierce strutting for some, and nervous wreckage for Marjorie. Tyra photographed the girls with both plain and seriously made up faces, and Elina's rigid demeanor and all-over ass-facedness got her the boot. Four bitches remain - can you believe we're so close to the end?
The girls return home after judging and Sam celebrates being in the top four and having photo of the week. She's so excited that she does a cartwheel, which has the added benefit of allow the ponytail at the top of her head to sweep a bit of the floor. As the girls sit around in the kitchen Sam tells Marjorie that now she's experienced the bottom two. Marjorie is still pretty glum about it, and notes that McKey's the only one who hasn't landed in the bottom. Sam says that she was predicting that Marjorie and Elina would be in the bottom two just because of "the go-see thing." Marjorie repeats, "Yeah, the go-see thing," with a wry laugh. We flash back to panel in sepia tones, which means that the situation is very sad and serious. Marjorie tells us that everything counts now and you can't really have an off day. Her new plan is "to calm down rather than freak out as usual." This seems like a positive strategy, right? I really would like to just throw Marjorie in the middle of a gaggle of Oprah's life coaches and see what happens. Minus Suze Orman, of course, because we have to be gentle with our little Marge and I don't think she's at the point of wanting to cash in her 401(k) yet anyway.
Tyra Mail! Rather, Tyra Post! The girls take pains to call it "Tyra Post" all throughout the episode, which makes me think that Tyra and/or the producers on Tyra's behalf had a talk with them to ensure that the viewing audience appreciated their clever efforts. Anyway, Tyra Post: "A model who knows how to sell makes the most sense. Love, Tyra." Don't tell me they're going to force Marjorie to go door-to-door shilling encyclopedias?
And speaking of Marjorie, Analeigh is giving her yet another softly-lit pep talk with a soft but dramatic piano backing track. She says that Tyra thinks Marjorie is a good model, and her criticisms are all about the nerves. Marjorie replies that they see her as being fragile, and she doesn't like being thought of as weak. Analeigh says that if the judges thought that, Marjorie wouldn't still be here. I have to say, it is pretty amazing that she came out of go-see week alive. Marjorie tells Analeigh that she doesn't know how to fake it. That's what she said! Er, sorry. She interviews that she doesn't know how to have a balance between her nerves and showing personality. When she loses her nerves she loses her edge, so she needs to be at least a little nervous. Right. I think it's the difference between being an interesting, authentic person and having your nerves be so unmanageable that people think you might benefit from a mild sedative. Right now, Marjorie veers uncomfortably toward the latter. Analeigh tells her that it's all acting as Marjorie continues to look tortured. Wait, does this mean that Analeigh isn't REALLY all about peace and puppies and sunshine? I feel so betrayed!