America's Next Top Model

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Double Trouble

Erin is next up, and tells us again that she has to step up her game. She figures that if they're supposed to be portraying a powerful and wrathful goddess, she's going to look powerful and wrathful in the face. Which, not such a stretch. The posing is going well, but Jay asks her if she looks pretty, because her face is registering as annoyed. He wants some warmth. Erin tells us that she started singing "one of those pop songs that teenagers listen to" in her head to help soften her face and make her look less angry. This manages to help a lot, even though the song she's listening to is not, in fact, the Tyra Banks hit "Shake Ya Body (Body)." Jay tells us that Erin's face became soft and serene, and the photo became magical. When her shoot is done, she thanks the photographer and conks her head on a light. That was the spirit of Pele, showing Erin what wrath is all about. And that's a wrap!

Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail. Someone -- nay, TWO someones! -- are going home. Laura reminds us that she was pretty terrible, and tried way too hard. When she stopped having fun, she messed up. She's going to be praying a lot tonight. Erin tells us that she was at the top of the pack at the beginning of the competition, but she lost a lot of confidence. Inconsistency is bad, but she also thinks she did really well in today's photo shoot. She hopes that she'll make it to the top two. Jennifer is scared out of her pants. She feels like Nicole already has a seat in the top two, which, duh. Neither Laura nor Jennifer have ever been in the bottom two. And Erin's done poorly, but the judges obviously have an unbelievable bias in her favor! Basically, it's anyone's game for the second spot in the final two. With great anticipation, we head to commercials.

When we return, it's panel time! And what the fuck kind of crazy-ass droopy-crotched jumpsuit is Tyra wearing? Good Lord! Tyra says with cheer that only two girls will be left standing after this elimination, and two will go on to compete in a Julia Clancey fashion show in Hawaii. And, of course, only one girl will win all the glorious prizes. Tyra introduces the judges. Miss J.'s sleeves are the size of the balloon boy's ride, and Ann Shoket is the guest judge. She manages not to let loose with, "Helloooooo ladieeeeeees!" But I'm sure she's thinking it.

Erin is first to be evaluated. Her best shot is pretty great. Nigel tells her that it's wonderful and beautiful, and she looks long, tall, elegant and sexy. Ann Shoket says that Erin is glowing both in the photo and standing in front of the panel. Miss J. says that he'd like to see a little more happiness in the eyeballs. Nigel tells J. that you can't smize in every picture. Jay, knowing the smize that feeds him, disagrees. Tyra tells Erin that this shot is gorgeous, but in general she was a bit sleepy in her film. She lucked out with an amazing, beautiful shot, but she wants to see consistent tension in Erin's photos. Miss J. explains that when Tyra asks for tension, she doesn't actually want you to look angry. He is totally obsessed with Erin's anger issue! Erin attempts to keep the wrath at bay as she gives a courteous thank you to the panel. Well, points for trying.

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America's Next Top Model

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