America's Next Top Model

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Celia, You're Breaking My Heart

Sandra is next with white powder and a shock of white hair coming out of the side of her head. She interviews that she kind of knew how she was going to pose, and was trying to make it all about the eyes. Jay asks what her emotion is, and she says that she's thinking about being a peaceful angel. Angel of death, maybe. Sandra's hoping that she'll get the best picture again. Finally there's Celia. She knows she has to wow Jay, because if she doesn't wow Jay she won't wow the judges. And then she'll get eliminated, because Tyra hates her. Celia's color is gray, and to accentuate it she has a big gray elephant turd framing the right side of her face. The hell? Jay tells her that when she does a beauty shot she needs to pose down to the toe, but then bring it up to the face again. Jay tells her that she looks very bizarre and Linda Evangelista, and interviews that this is the most relaxed she's looked in all of her photo shoots. Having nothing to lose really does work sometimes. Jay compliments her, and Celia interviews that now she feels pretty confident that she'll stay in the competition. Oh, little Celia. It's always bad to be hopeful when Tyra is involved. Commercials.

When the girls get home, there is Tyra Mail. Someone is going to be eliminated. Sandra hopes that she won't be eliminated, and says that she's done well so far and is very confident in herself. Celia puts on her prettiest flouncy mustard skirt. She confessionalizes that, for obvious reasons, she feels close to being booted and so wants to pick out an outfit that will allow her to make a fabulous twirling exit. She tells another girl that she feels like it's the outfit that she's going to be buried in. Death becomes her.

It is then time to enter panel with more Tales of the Great and Benevolent Supermodel: "Once there lived a supermodel who wanted to guide future girls. So she broke out The Rules to Owning Your Inner Fierceness. You need to paint on your game face and show the industry your true colors." What poor intern was forced to come up with these at 4 a.m.? The girls enter and Tyra multi-culturizes, "And then there were... nueve." Fo rolls her eyes, fiercely. Tyra is actually wearing something pretty and flattering, and in slimming black no less! Maybe she's already in mourning for Celia. There are prizes, there are judges. Paulina is wearing leopard print, because that's how Europeans mourn. Keith Major, the week's photographer, is the guest judge, mostly because we have to be reminded that Tyra is on the cover of Ebony.

America's Next Top Model

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