America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model

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The next photo shoot was a beauty shoot filled with slimy sea creatures and gorgeous jewelry. Famed photographer Matthew Rolston was on hand to tell the girls which parts of them were asymmetrical. Sleepy Rhianna said things like "overwhelmed with joy" and "it's so surreal, I'm like, floating" and, despite all genetic odds, was not a very good model. Her flower child persona didn't mesh well with the creative of the day. At panel, the judges agreed that Rhianna was not versatile enough to cut it as a top model, and she was eliminated. Let's hope she gets work in a Drew Barrymore tribute band.

As you may remember, Kacey was a particularly unpopular character in the house. Lexie and Liz both had their moments with her. But what we didn't see was Chris getting into it with Kacey about some missing margarita mix. Why aren't these girls drinking Skinnygirl cocktails? It turns out that Kacey told someone that Chris drank a bottle of alcohol. Chris is upset about this accusation because she's only 20, and doesn't want to get kicked out of this competition for drinking alcohol, when she didn't. And here I was, accusing her of having a cocktail in the last scene! I guess it was root beer. Chris confronts Kacey about this terrible slander, and Kacey doesn't understand why Chris is making such a big deal out of it. Then, however, Chris screams at Kacey that she should drop it. I think this is the usual situation, where both of them are assholes. The screaming continues, and Chris interviews that she's over Kacey, and that Kacey should go be a hermit in her little bed like she used to. I wonder what Myrtle thinks of this.

There's never a dull moment at the Top Model house, and especially not when they have a primo view of Venice Beach. Jane is just walking around the house when Lexie yells that there's a naked man streaking on the beach. Given that this is Venice Beach, Jane tells us that there's a good chance this naked man is also crazy, so she runs to see what's up. Everyone gathers around to watch as the butt-naked dude rolls around in the sand, and then squats as two unfortunate female police officers have to deal with him. Finally, the officers somehow get him laid out on the back of their SUV, and Lexie deems it the best people watching they've ever had.

Ann is a native Texan and, despite her bone-thin frame, was an aficionado of southern delicacies such as the fried Oreo. I didn't even know you could make those homemade! Here's the recipe: take a double-stuffed Oreo, dip it in pancake batter, then fry it up in a pan of vegetable oil. Ann says that they're really good, because the cookie turns soft. I can't claim that I've ever had a deep-fried Oreo, but I can see the appeal. I don't hate on fried anything. Kacey admits that the deep-fried Oreo is pretty delish. The others wonder if this is her strategy to fatten them up. Seriously, only if you have Ann's metabolism can you have that shit for dinner.

America's Next Top Model

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