America's Next Top Model
High Fashion Highlights

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Recap Recap

When we return, the ladies are having a smoke-filled barbeque featuring the male models from the fallen angel photo shoot. You may remember that the evening was quite awkward, but what we haven't seen until now is the real reason that the boys bounced. One word: Myrtle. Myrtle is Chris's harelipped alter nerd ego. In kind of a terrifying manner, Chris screams, "Myrtle. Doesn't. Model!" The guys are totally horrified. This should go on the website Myrtle interviews that when the dudes came in, she told them the truth: "Don't you eat any of my food!" This is like early Carol Burnett mixed with a cheesy '80s horror film. The guys are all like, "Ladies, it's been real." Kacey interviews that the way the guys left was weird before saying, "Dammit, Myrtle." Myrtle is the ultimate cockblocker.

So, you know how ANTM always casts a house full of slobs? This season was no exception. And Lexie got really tired of cleaning. She announces that she hates everyone. Kayla confessionalizes that nobody asked Lexie to clean or write notes about cleaning on paper plates. Kayla is not afraid of Lexie's mouth. It's now time to see the two hard-knocks white girls get into it! There is yelling and screaming to infinity. Chris just sits there shaking her head and thinking, "Are you for real?" I think she and Liz are having cocktails as they watch the action as well. I mean, what else would you do? Maybe pick up a sponge and start wiping something down.

The next photo shoot was a beauty shoot filled with slimy sea creatures and gorgeous jewelry. Famed photographer Matthew Rolston was on hand to tell the girls which parts of them were asymmetrical. Sleepy Rhianna said things like "overwhelmed with joy" and "it's so surreal, I'm like, floating" and, despite all genetic odds, was not a very good model. Her flower child persona didn't mesh well with the creative of the day. At panel, the judges agreed that Rhianna was not versatile enough to cut it as a top model, and she was eliminated. Let's hope she gets work in a Drew Barrymore tribute band.

As you may remember, Kacey was a particularly unpopular character in the house. Lexie and Liz both had their moments with her. But what we didn't see was Chris getting into it with Kacey about some missing margarita mix. Why aren't these girls drinking Skinnygirl cocktails? It turns out that Kacey told someone that Chris drank a bottle of alcohol. Chris is upset about this accusation because she's only 20, and doesn't want to get kicked out of this competition for drinking alcohol, when she didn't. And here I was, accusing her of having a cocktail in the last scene! I guess it was root beer. Chris confronts Kacey about this terrible slander, and Kacey doesn't understand why Chris is making such a big deal out of it. Then, however, Chris screams at Kacey that she should drop it. I think this is the usual situation, where both of them are assholes. The screaming continues, and Chris interviews that she's over Kacey, and that Kacey should go be a hermit in her little bed like she used to. I wonder what Myrtle thinks of this.

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America's Next Top Model




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