America's Next Top Model
High Fashion Highlights

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Once Liz found her, ahem, swagger, she put it to good use at a photo shoot with photographer Francesco Carrozzini. If you'll recall, she dressed in drag as John Galliano and killed it, despite having no idea who Galliano is. Meanwhile, Kendal and Esther both failed in a miserable, blank, dead-eyed kind of way. In the end, Kendal's gorgeous features couldn't make up for her lack of commitment, and she was sent back to the top of the mountain or wherever.

After a commercial break, the remaining seven girls had an in-house visit from big-time designer Zac Posen, who maybe takes himself a little seriously. In a Q&A session, Chelsey asked Zac what inspired his newest collection. Zac replied, "When I create...my collection, Zac Posen. I'm creating for the women who live and breathe high fashion. That love it, that create trend. And so I wanted to create a clothing...that really felt like a new American look for a new America." First of all: trend, singular. First and a half: a clothing, singular. And second, I guess new America is poorer America, but still not so poor that you can't spend $400 on a pair of pants. Zac then takes a look at the girls' walks. Chris has too many hands, Jane needs to relax and bring her shoulders back, Esther has to watch out for fish face, and Ann is full of nervous tension. J. asks Ann for fierce attitude, which in turn scares Zac Posen. Good.

The girls then walked in a Zac Posen Z Spoke fashion show, in which there were fittings to be done, walks to assessed, and planted beeyotches to be dealt with. Our models didn't know that the other models in the show were instructed to be mean girls. I'm sure it was a real stretch for them, too. One of the mean models tells Esther and Jane that she hopes both of them fall on their faces. Esther just smiles at her, but in an interview remarks that what she said wasn't very nice. During the actual show, no one fucked things up beyond repair. What we didn't see was panel's very own ALT giving the girls kudos backstage. He tells Chris that she was throwing high fashion, and congratulates everyone for not falling. The bar is very low. ALT is deeply in love with Zac Posen, and has spent nights in his studio picking up the pins and sweeping the floor with his mother. I assume that the mother also had a broom as opposed to being the broom.

After the incredible thrill of the Zac Posen runway show, the girls had to deal with humiliation on roller skates in the form of a commercial for fictional H2T water, directed by Nigel Barker. Ann fell. A lot. It's really amazing that she came out of that experience with all of her bones intact. More generally, things were not so pretty. Jane stumbled a lot, as did Chelsey, though it doesn't seem that either of them actually hit the pavement. And then there was the overall inability to remember and/or recite a series of about five given lines. Dreck. I. Tude. At panel, it was decided that Esther fell flat and had yet to meet her potential. She was sent home, but first she had to say goodbye, in extra-long format. We see her hugging the panel, hugging the girls, making speeches, and thanking people repeatedly. Good for her for getting four more episodes-worth of dullness in!

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America's Next Top Model

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