America's Next Top Model
High Fashion Highlights

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Recap Recap

It was then time for the girls to say arrivederci to Venice Beach and ciao to Venice, Italy! After the long flight the girls checked into their fly hotel and a bird promptly pooped on Liz. That bird spoke for all of us, really. Liz screamed and complained, and for some reason all of the bird shit spots on her arms were pixilated out. Really, FCC? Jane also got a little bird shit in her hair, but took it in stride. Ann laughed and laughed. This wasn't the first time in the competition that Liz was guilty of complaining, and in fact a montage with built-in complaint counter puts her total at 29 complaints. I want to get my Count laugh on right now. One of Liz's complaints is about her nipples, and another is about getting her license unsuspended, and another is about buying $30 worth of milk a month. And that's just a sampling! Chelsey puts it best when she tells us that Liz is a mess.

The first Italian photo shoot was set on the spectacular Venice canals, with a real-life Casanova and a boat. Jane impressed everyone with a dynamic, breathless beauty that heretofore had not been seen in her shoots. I'm sure she'd credit that with being a history major. Meanwhile, Liz continued to complain -- at least three additional complaints, according to the counter! -- and couldn't embrace the theme of the day. Liz was uncomfortable on the shoot, and it showed. She was sent home after almost fainting from heat. That complaint at least was legit.

After a commercial break, it's time for go-sees in Milan. As you may remember, the girls got really, really lost. Jane and Chris try to catch a bus but wait on the wrong side of the street, which is sort of a metaphor for their whole go-see experience. Chris tells us that she doesn't want to ask people for directions, which is frankly a really bad strategy. She gets over it enough to let Jane ask people for directions. Oh, but then they either get bad directions or can't read, and end up at a place called "Versus." They didn't win the challenge, needless to say.

Chelsey did win the go-see challenge, and on her birthday no less! The remaining girls plan a surprise party, which involves making Chelsey believe that Chris fell in the kitchen. When Chelsey comes running to help, happy birthday is sung! There are gifts, which is a good news, and a cake with candles that read "23." That's not such good news. But she can drink champagne! That's good news again. Chelsey is happy, even though she has at least half a foot in the grave.

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America's Next Top Model

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