America's Next Top Model

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Intercultural Intermission

Next, the ladies had a visit from none other than Lisa D'Amato and learned that they would be recording tracks and making corresponding music videos. They were mentored by girl group veterans Nadine Coyle, of Girls Aloud, and Jessica Sutta of the Pussycat Dolls. While some such as Catherine were naturals in the studio, Laura basically sucked. And she admitted it! And though I think she actually is a musician of some sort, Azmarie was a total nasal weirdo behind the microphone. This foretold terrible things to come, as the girls headed to a booty tooching lesson with Tyra. Azmarie memorably refused to wear the "training tooch" -- also known as butt padding -- for reasons of being a grown-ass woman. She missed out on the "super" "fun" "event" of being "silly" with "Tyra," and also was unable to witness competitive tooch-offs. In never-before seen footage, we learn that Azmarie had no regrets about eschewing the training tooch. She explains that to thine own self one must be true. I'm sure butt pads and the Gucci tooch were exactly what Shakespeare had in mind all those years ago. Laura didn't understand what was so offensive about wearing a training tooch in particular, but Azmarie clearly felt strongly about the matter. And so she was booted! But not before we all got "Stop, Drop and Tooch" stuck in our head for months. Thanks, Top Model.

Back at the house, the Brits celebrated their first best-of-week photo (or in this case, video) thanks to Alisha, and Sophie and Annaliese quite endearingly could not stop watching and dancing to their own video. Annaliese predicted that newly-formed girl group Fiercely British could tour the world and win MTV Awards. Indeed, it's not so far off to think that Tyra Banks could be the new Lou Pearlman. Later that night, Sophie and Catherine dressed up like ninjas -- which in British parlance means wearing sunglasses and holding giant red plaid pillows over your head -- for no apparent reason other than that the competition was driving everybody crazy. Alisha would have joined, but she was too busy tapping her weave.

The next photo shoot had the girls posing at art installations at a dinner party thrown by British pop star Estelle. Seymone smashed pie in Annaliese's face, and everyone was happy. Sophie worked her bony tooch, while Kyle struggled even with a fake booty enhancement! She went home, much to the delight of everyone who could no longer bear to witness her smiling for miles.

So, as it happens, the girls spend a lot of time walking up and down their in-house runway. Eboni broke down the Sophie Strut, which involves leaning back so your head is behind your ankles and taking long strides. No one else could do it adequately. For the next photo shoot, the girls donned Hello Kitty couture, and Alisha rocked her dominatrix kitty look. Seymone, however, could not deal with her giant wig and turned in a subpar photo. She and her stank attitude were sent packing!

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America's Next Top Model




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