In the kitchen, Dominique and Claire argue some more. Dominique wears an Elmer Fudd hat/head wrap contraption, which means she automatically loses. Again!! They are still talking about the alarm. Dominique says that it's not like she broke one of Claire's limbs. Claire points out that she only started calling Dominique a bitch when she started being a bitch. Again, point for Claire. She's just stating facts. Dominique doesn't think this gives Claire a right to call someone a bitch, and then asks if she calls her husband a bitch when they get in an argument. If I had a husband, I would call him a bitch all the time, especially when we weren't fighting. And then I would make him wipe the drool from the baby's face. Claire does not take kindly to this turn in the conversation, and asks why Dominique is bringing up her home life. Dominique says that's obviously the way Claire communicates. And THEN Claire gets super grimy, and knowingly so, and says, "At least I have a husband, okay." The best part is that you can see Whitney in the background looking entirely delighted by this. Claire got grimy and low because Dominique "went there." Claire interviews that she gave Dominique ample opportunity to fix her alarm, and it wasn't until Claire yelled and called her a bitch that the problem was resolved. There is not an angle at which you can play this for me where Claire doesn't win.
Back at the kitchen table, Claire says that this is, like, the seventh time that Dominique's alarm has given her problems, and that's fucked up, bitch-calling or no. Dominique still can't get over being called a bitch -- because I'm so sure that's never happened before -- and keeps going on about how Claire crossed boundaries. And then, from the other end of the table, Lauren tells Dominique that she's having a communication problem. Dominique tells Lauren to stay in her place, and then the shit really hits the imaginary fan that's blowing wind in Dominique's hair. Lauren interviews that she doesn't like conflict, but if you tell her to stay in her place, she'll rip you apart. Then Whitney interjects and tells Dominique to get in the trash where she belongs. Okay, that was unnecessary. I'm not crazy about Whitney either, I have to be honest.
Dominique feels really ganged-up on, and like it's Christmas for the other girls when they try to make her feel bad. Hey, my best friend is a gingerbread man! Stop your cookie-ist hate, Dominique. And then Lauren FREAKS OUT!!!! She stands up on her chair and screams that Dominique is always running her damn mouth. While she is doing this, Dominique continues to run her damn mouth. Lauren sits down and screams that Dominique is fucking crazy. Who knew Lauren had it in her, too? She will tie you up with duct tape and beat you with her ratty Converse if you cross her. Damn. ["Not coincidentally, my new favorite girl is now Lauren. Brooklyn, represent!" -- Joe R] Lauren interviews that Dominique has verbal diarrhea. Like, all over her own face, too. It's pretty tragic.