America's Next Top Model

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Here Comes The Pain Again

The girls get home and find some Tyra Mail: "I've been aching to tell you tonight's lesson was actually a challenge! Guess who posed the fiercest? Congratulations...Anya!" Woah, first of all, that's sneaky! Anya is excited, both to have had knowledge imparted to her by the great and powerful Tyra Banks, and also to have impressed the great and powerful Tyra Banks. The Tyra Mail continues: "You have just won a one-on-one photo shoot with...Nigel Barker!" Oh wow! Anya has butterflies flowing through her stomach. And well she should! She heads to, like, a weird deserted building. It's practically an instructional video for how you're not supposed to answer those weird newspaper ads that say, "Models wanted!"

Nigel greets Anya with a big hug, and he tells her that she's going to spend a day in bed. He explains that they want to make these photos timeless, so they'll never go out of style. And what's the easiest way to do that? Yes, you got it -- to not wear any clothes. Now it's becoming less like an instructional video and more like an After-School Special. Creepazoid! Nigel says that everything will be hidden, but the whole thing will be natural and pretty and beautiful. Anya likes herself and her body, so doesn't mind being nude. And, like, she's really nude. I mean, she appears to have flesh-colored underwear on, but I thought she'd be under the covers and stuff. This is not entirely the case. Nigel is such a perv. He tells us that Anya is a good model, but she doesn't even know how good she is. He still sees the doubt in her eyes. He says this like he's actually looking at her eyes.

Anya returns home and tells the others of her nekkid adventures. When Aimee hears this, she's plenty happy that she did not win this prize. She was raised Mormon, and the Mormons apparently are not at all about young ladies being naked. All of the Osmond brothers, yes. But certainly not Marie. Aimee doesn't want to disappoint her family.

Oh, and then more drama! Dominique tells us that she was really feeling sick. She had a migraine and her stomach was turning. Well THIS seems like the perfect time for her to go on a photo shoot! Hear the music in your head, Dominique! She tries to sleep in bed as some other girls sit in the room and laugh. At first the topic of conversation seems more general, but then Whitney brings up how funny it was earlier in the morning when Claire busted out with, "At least I have a husband, okay." Oh, see, now I can't get behind that. Talk your shit behind people's backs like a lady. Dominique agrees, and tells the others to go to the pit and talk all the shit they want, but it's rude and disrespectful to do it in front of her. Dominique then has a really weird confessional all about how Lauren, Claire, and Whitney are dancing monkeys. I don't know, dude.

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America's Next Top Model




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