America's Next Top Model

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If You Can't Make It Here, You Can't Make It Anywhere

When we return, Whitney rationalizes that she's not fat or obese. She feels bad about the whole Pamella Roland situation, but isn't going to get all up in her face and tell her that she best chase the chub if she doesn't want a punch in the throat, because she doesn't want to burn bridges. Pamella is like, "I only travel on bridges that carry 115 pounds or less. Sorry, fatty!" Team One now heads to Shoshanna. They are slowed down by Whitney -- not because she's too fat to walk, but because she's wearing five inch stilettos. Shoshanna tells the girls of team one that when she started the line, one of her goals was to be inclusive of more body types. All the three-legged women out there are feeling so empowered right now. Shoshanna had a daughter two years ago, and Claire mentions that she has a child as well.

Claire is prepared to bring her personality to the table and "rule the room." Sounds like a good plan! It is thus hard to understand why she proceeds to annoy Shoshanna by playing a one-sided game of 20 questions. Shoshanna tells us that a model does want to show personality on a go-see, but at the same time you have to be careful. In other words, if you have a stank personality, just be quiet for once. Whitney loves how she looks in Shoshanna's dress. It's very Mrs. Roeper. Hott! Shoshanna says that Whitney is beautiful and has a sexy figure, and that she would book her in a runway show. Shoshanna loves Stacy-Ann. Whitney thinks that Dominique's angry eyebrow face, which she claims is done by no one in real life, is going to hurt their team.

Team two heads to Pamella Roland. Pamella thinks that Fatima is beautiful, but, at a size zero, is just too small for their clothes. Pamella is all about the size twos. Pamella thinks that Anya is beautiful, but also is timid and lacks confidence. We don't get to hear what Pamella thinks of Lauren, but Fatima thinks she's awkward and needs to stand up straight for once. Point well taken.

Both teams meet at once for their third casting, which is with Stacey Bendet of Alice + Olivia. You can tell she's a total bitch. Possibly in a delightful way. Possibly not. Stacey tells the girls to be fun and animated in the clothes. She doesn't think that Dominique has a true model look, seems ambivalent about Claire, and thinks that Stacy-Ann is animated with a good energy to her. Stacey gives a half-hearted, "Cuuuute," when Whitney walks. Then it's time for team two to walk. Stacey thinks that Fatima has a great body and looks amazing in the clothes. She is not one to shy away from the size zero! Stacey has no commentary on Anya. She probably thought a ghost was wafting through the showroom again. Katarzyna is cute as a button with a really pretty face and great body, says Stacey. And then, Stacey says, "Lauren...she's very tall. But, I mean, horse walk! She's kind of, like, stomping through the showroom. It was kind of funny." She totally just openly mocked Lauren! Stacey is our kind of girl. If we loved girls in bright pink with huge bags under their eyes. This bitch needs to sleep it off, and then we'll make our final assessment.

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America's Next Top Model

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