America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 958 USERS: B
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And Then There Were Two

Tyra takes the girls outside, because she's going to photograph them. You know how she likes to do. It's going to be super-duper fast, and she does their makeup, which means that she draws black shit all over them. Then, Tyra puts, like, motor oil in their hair and outfits them in bland cloaks. Molly's picture looks awesome, of course, and then Tyra tells Hannah to make tiny micromovements. Molly says that Hannah and Brittani are both awesome, but she wants Brittani to go home because she's actual competition on the runway. Hannah tearfully says that she hasn't shown a strong picture in the past few weeks, and the others have forgotten her as competition. However, she knows that she can kick their asses. That never sounds convincing when said with a shaky, sobbing voice. Brittani says that the prize package for the competition is fab, and she can't even believe it's a possibility for her. You know, trailer, etc. At the same time, she just has to reach out and grab it.

Before she leaves, Tyra tells the girls that there's one thing about modeling that she wants them to take away, and it's isolation. And no, she's not talking about the desperate loneliness that comes with having a perfectly symmetrical face. The best models in the world can isolate their necks or their ears or whatever, and move one thing at a time. Tyra then moves them through a series of exercises, in which they move their hips, then their necks, and then walk around like Stepford Wife chickens. They eventually wind up on the roof, where a few men are playing traditional Moroccan music. The girls have tasseled hats on their heads and all whip them around and dance with Tyra, and frankly it all gets a little weird and slo-mo. Thankfully, we eventually head to commercials.

America's Next Top Model

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