America's Next Top Model

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And Then There Were Two
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on ANTM: The girls had tea with Franca Sozzani and then had to balance tea on their heads. It was a real tea-themed episode, I guess. Molly dropped all kinds of shit from her head-based tea tray and then got mad about it, as she is wont to do. Brittani won the tea tray challenge, but Molly remained confident that her pictures were better than everybody else's. Happily for her, she was right. Hannah looked a little lost in her photos, but it was Alexandria's tense mouth pucker that revealed her control-freak ways, and she was sent home. Three bitches remain! Three! We are almost there, people.

So, we're still in Morocco, obviously. I wonder if the Top Models had any overlap with the Real Housewives of New York? I would have enjoyed seeing Alexandria take on Ramona Singer. In the bus back to their house, Hannah expresses surprise that Alexandria is gone, but Brittani and Molly say that they expected it. Moreover, Brittani is quite glad to have her crazy drama bitch nemesis out of the house. Being down to a mere three people puts on the pressure, though, and Brittani says that Molly has her beat in photos and Hannah is better at commercials. So what is Brittani good at, you may ask? Hopefully she's good at not screwing up while others screw up. In other words: keeping her shit together. I am sorry to tell Brittani that history is not on her side with this one.

Hannah, meanwhile, is traumatized after being in the bottom two for the first time. She feels like her pictures haven't shown progression lately, and that the last two in particular are not up to her capabilities. That camel from the photo two weeks ago is really serving it though. It's giving us the one-eye smize and half-grin, like it's a moment away from spitting fiercely. And the neck extension is divine. Salon-worthy, even. A very tearful Hannah (which is always a dead giveaway) interviews that being America's Next Top Model would enable her to get out of Houston. We see some photos of Hannah in her hometown, and she says that it's hard getting out of a city that doesn't have a lot of opportunities for models. It is? I mean, I thought you just took your shopping allowance and hightailed it to New York. Hannah feels like she's more dynamic than Molly and Brittani, is more commercial, and can also do high-fashion. She is, in her own estimation, the best of both worlds. But can she sell eye makeup more convincingly than the camel? I mean, those lashes!

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America's Next Top Model

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