America's Next Top Model

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And Then There Were Two

The girls arrive home to see Molly's best-of-week picture digitally doubled, making her look like Siamese twins joined at the hand. Everyone coos about it good-naturedly, even though inside they want to punch Molly and rue the day that her crunk wig was removed. Brittani tells us that it's a mindfuck to think about being in the final two, and that since she came from a trailer park people don't expect much of her. We see a shot of the trailer park, likely from her audition video, and it's totally a trailer park nestled in the mountains. I mean, I'm sure she had, like, shoes and stuff. If she could get Vogue in the mail, the situation is not that dire. Brittani notes that Molly has been kicking ass for the past few weeks, and is wondering how she might make Molly mess up so that she can win. Way to compete on your own laurels!

Molly, meanwhile, interviews that she deserves to be here more than the others, and she knows it. She then goes on to tell us AGAIN about her abandonment issues, which, we got it. Had you heard that Molly is adopted? By awesome parents? I know, how horrible. Molly wants to show young girls out there in similarly horrible situations that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. That light involves displaying all of your issues for a national audience on a fourth-rate network. See! It gets better! Molly says that she understands life a little more than Brittani and Hannah. Brittani has practically never been outside of her trailer doors and Hannah is the innocent girl next door who gets really emotional about things. To wit, we get a montage of Hannah weeping. First she weeps at that weird acting challenge as she says she doesn't want to come off as spoiled. Then she weeps in interviews. Her tears could fill up a hot tub. Molly points out that people in the fashion industry are mean, and she's not sure if Hannah can handle it. As Brittani tries to figure out how to eat a giant lamb chop, Molly says that she needs to figure out how to stop getting so angry. Hannah tells us that Molly doesn't make lemonades out of lemons, and if she ever did she'd complain about how sour the lemonade was anyway. People don't want to work with assholes, Hannah says. Though that's true, they almost always have to because the asshole to non-asshole ratio in the world is so high. There's a life lesson for you, young readers.

There is Tyra Mail! "Tomorrow you'll know beauty inside, out and about. Love, Tyra." Brittani wonders if they'll have their beauty shot and commercial for Cover Girl. It is about that time, isn't it? But this is the season of surprises! And so the next day Jay Manuel visits the girls at their home and tells them that he has a special news announcement from Hollywood. A video from The Insider then pops up, featuring Lara Spencer. I know her mostly in the context of being Kathy Griffin's unofficial decorator, which I think is awesome. Lara tells the girls that as models, they might be booked for jobs as a spokesperson or have to talk about fashion trends. As you may have guessed, this is all related to their challenge. Each girl will choose a fashion or beauty trend in Morocco and report back to The Insider in what is called a "live shot." They'll get one hour to research and write up questions, and then get to ask them of experts or other folks who have experienced the trend. They'll need to fill 90 seconds of continuous airtime in a single shot. This doesn't sound so hard, but I'm sure that if I had to do it I'd look like a total ass. The winner of the challenge will have her video shown on theinsider.com.

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America's Next Top Model

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